“…We only have a little time, let’s stay away from certain issues and focus on what we can do something about…”

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Necessary Endings (p. 31).

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Here is a practical, personal application of this thought.

Henry says, “If people could learn to say things like, ‘We only have a little time, let’s stay away from certain issues and focus on what we can do something about,’ or ‘Let’s use our time in a good way,’ the resources of time and energy would be better spent.”

He goes on, “In the personal realm, I have also taught this method to couples, and they see immediate changes. One couple reported back that they changed their weekly ‘date night’ as a result:

“We used to take the time to have a date night every week, get a babysitter to spend time together apart from the kids. But, we would go out and end up talking about the kids, running the house, and all the things that we were trying to get away from. We lost the benefit of date night and were coming back not feeling very refreshed or renewed with each other and our relationship.

“So, we asked ourselves about the three categories and decided that there were good but not best ways to spend our time, things that we talked about that got us into conflicts that were not getting well, and some ways of spending our evenings that added nothing.

““Then we decided to make those off-limits. We started having real dates again, like when we were first dating, before kids and the challenges of running a household took most of our attention. We remembered what it was like when we first met and every minute gave more life to our relationship. And we did the things we used to do. Now we are looking forward to that night . . . it kind of grounds us now through the week. I know that no matter what is going on, that night is going to bring me energy.”

Henry then says, “All of your precious resources—time, energy, talent, passion, money—should only go to the buds of your life or your business that are the best, are fixable, and are indispensable. Otherwise, average sets in and a meeting or even a date night does not become the rose it was designed to be. How many times have you heard someone walk out of a meeting and ask, ‘Why do we have these meetings?’ Pruning might help that, or it might keep a couple from going to sleep after a date night a little more discouraged about their marriage. Pruning can bring health into the small branches of business or life as well as the big.”

That is something to really think about, isn’t it? 

Yes, yes!