Just Continue That Thought...

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys (p. 73). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) We sure are! Mike says, “God never intended for everyone to be the same, even though it might seem to be more comfortable. Just as there is variety in nature, there is variety in people. “Relational pain doesn’t usually come from the areas where we are alike, but from those areas where we differ. “Imagine going to an orchestra concert and finding that the only instruments being played were violins. No brass, no percussion, no woodwinds—only violins. While a violin can produce a mesmerizing sound, we would quickly grow tired of a concert with no other instruments. “The people in our lives are like an orchestra. They’re all unique, and together they provide richness to the music of our lives. Some of those people seem crazy, while others bring en

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, P eople Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys (p. 57). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) We really do, don’t we? Mike says, “Everything inside us wants them to be different. They’ve thrown us off our emotional set point, and we wonder if our emotions will ever get back in balance.” Can you think of someone like that? He goes on, “It’s a fine line between two ends of a continuum: 1.     Hope (that they’ll change)  2 .   Realism (knowing they might not) “Both ends can exist together, which is why it’s possible to keep from being thrown too far from our emotional set point. When we’ve tried so many times to impact people’s lives with no results, it’s easy to give up. Realism acknowledges that it might not get better. “But no matter how bad it gets, there’s always hope.” He then says, “Brad and Linda have a twenty-five-year-

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys (p. 55). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) And that can be so true. Mike says, “When a relationship is unhealthy, we often try to rescue it. The closer the relationship, the more we hope it will improve. But if I make it my mission to change you, I’m setting myself up for disappointment. It messes with my emotional set point if you don’t do what I’m expecting, and the emotions follow. Expectations always lead to pain when they’re not met. “A healthier perspective is to come with e xpectancy rather than expectations. With expectancy, I don’t know what’s going to happen. I can be honest about my concerns and acknowledge my desire to have the person change, but I’m not demanding that things have to turn out a certain way. I don’t know how things will turn out.” He then says, “Ins