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Showing posts with the label Dealing with the Elephant in the Room

“When a conversation gets tough, many people simply disappear.”

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, Dealing with the Elephant in the Room: Moving from Tough Conversations to Healthy Communication (p. 60). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) That is so true, isn’t it? Mike says, “They don’t like conflict, so they disengage from the other person to avoid confrontation. But at the same time, they put their feelings in writing where they can be aggressive without having to deal with the other person’s response. They might also start talking to others about what the person is doing. “Communication is kind of like being on a dance floor with a partner, and we’re trying to dance together. Dancing isn’t an exact science, and success depends on being attentive and responsive to what the other person is doing. We can’t ignore each other. “When we criticize someone behind their back, it’s like ignoring our partner on the dance floor. Instead of trying to work with them

“A new perspective changes the way we experience things.”

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, Dealing with the Elephant in the Room: Moving from Tough Conversations to Healthy Communication (p. 58). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) In so many negative situations a new perspective can make a major difference. “Mike says, “Someone said, ‘In the absence of data, we tend to make things up.’ That’s why it’s important to keep talking about hard issues. If we don’t, we won’t know what the other person is thinking. So we start believing our made-up perspectives, imagining things that aren’t there and assuming they’re true. “When people have an issue with someone else, they are often uncomfortable talking to them about it. So they take the easier path, which is to talk with everyone else instead of that person. Any time we talk about people without talking to them, we run the risk of damaging our relationship with them. The only way to build healthy relationship

“We all need to know that we’re not just taking up space on the planet.”

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, Dealing with the Elephant in the Room: Moving from Tough Conversations to Healthy Communication (p. 51). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) That is so true and on this Thanksgiving Day, we can be thankful that God has created each one of us with a purpose, a reason to be here.   Mike says, “We’re hardwired that way. We want to make a difference. We were created with a blend of temperament, passion, and interest that makes us unique. Nobody else is just like us, and nobody can contribute what we have to offer. “Too often, we compare ourselves to others. We see the contributions they’re making, and ours feel insignificant by contrast. So we either give up trying (because we believe we don’t have anything of value to give), or we try to copy others. We figure that if we do what they do, we’ll at least be able to make some of the impact they make.” He goes on, “T