Skip to main content

“If you go backward, you are going backward.”

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again (p. 14). Howard Books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

But we need to go forward.

Henry says, “Laura had been in this relationship for about four years. Her biggest complaint was that Jason took her for granted and did not make her a priority. He was a nice guy, but too self-centered to make a relationship work. Over and over again, he would leave her feeling ignored and unimportant. She had broken up with him several times, missed him, reunited, and nothing had changed. She would break up with him again and then a few months later would run into him and, with the pain gone, begin to enjoy all the good things about him and want to try again.

“They would both talk about how they had been foolish to break up with so much good in their relationship, how they really loved each other, and how they truly should be together. ‘I was wrong to leave. I miss you and want to be with you again, would be their mutual feeling. So they would get back together and do it again.”

Henry goes on, “So what’s wrong with that? Everything. But please understand something: I am not saying that people should not be allowed to have second, third, or fourth chances. The story of redemption is the greatest story ever told. It’s natural and sometimes good, to try again. When things go bad, especially in relationships, we want to find a way to make them work and to restore love. When business deals go bad, we want to be able to fix them and make them work. When we fail at a dream or career, we want to be able to come back and win. The story of every successful life includes failure, misses, and obstacles that are overcome. Redemption and restoration are good things and God’s true desire for us all.

“But here is the real truth when it comes to redemption versus going backward: if redemption is to occur, something must be different. A second chance is not a repeat of the first chance. A second chance is a moving forward to something new. There must be something new and different in order to move forward rather than backward. If everything’s the same, you are repeating what already has been, and there is no reason to think the outcome will be different.”

He then says, “As I said in my book Necessary Endings, hope without realistic reasons to believe is not hope at all. It is only a ‘wish.’ God gives us a solid way to tell the difference between a hope and a wish. It is called ‘fruit.’ When a tree gets healthy, you can see the blossoms and the fruit that proves it has life in it. When a person or a situation has truly changed and is worthy of our investment, we will be able to see tangible reasons to believe.”

So, let's look for fruit, for evidence, okay? 

Yes, yes!
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

“There’s a big difference between building a castle and building a kingdom.”

A thought by Bob Goff from his book, Everybody, Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People ( p. 41). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)   Have you ever built a sand castle or maybe a Lego castle?   Have you? Bob says, “We actually build castles all the time, out of our jobs and our families and the things we’ve purchased. Sometimes we even make them out of each other. Some of these castles are impressive too. Lots of people come to admire what we’ve built over the course of our lives and tell us what great castles we have. But Jesus told His friends we weren’t supposed to spend our lives building castles. He said He wanted us to build a kingdom, and there’s a big difference between building a castle and building a kingdom.” Bob goes on, “You see, castles have moats to keep creepy people out, but kingdoms have bridges to let everyone in. Castles have dungeons for people who ha...
Post a Comment
Read more

“God does big things with small deeds.”

A thought by Max Lucado (2011-05-02) from his book, Cure for the Common Life (p. 115). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) I don’t know how you feel about what you are doing and how it can make a difference.   You may feel that it is so small and not even worth the effort. Max says, “Begin. Just begin! What seems small to you might be huge to someone else. Just ask Bohn Fawkes. During World War II, he piloted a B-17. On one mission he sustained flak from Nazi antiaircraft guns. Even though his gas tanks were hit, the plane did not explode, and Fawkes was able to land the plane. “On the morning following the raid, Fawkes asked his crew chief for the German shell. He wanted to keep a souvenir of his incredible good fortune. The crew chief explained that not just one but eleven shells had been found in the gas tanks, none of which had exploded. “Technicians opened the missiles and found them void of explosive cha...
Post a Comment
Read more

“Sometimes we think we’re stuck simply because things are hard.”

A thought by Matt Perman, from his book, How to Get Unstuck (p. 52). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the That is a possible trap for many, isn’t it? Matt says, “But if you’re continuing to make progress and aren’t experiencing huge snags, you’re not stuck. Rather, you’re in a dip. “A dip is a temporary hard slog that you will get through if you keep pushing and don’t give up. And pushing through the hard slog is actually the fastest route to the destination. In these cases, you will be especially tempted to bail. Be discerning and able to identify that you’re in a legitimate dip and you’re not a failure.” Matt says another trap to be careful of, “Some people are stuck and don’t know it.” He goes on, “Everything can be going your way, going smoothly, and going quickly. Everything feels and seems wonderful. Yet... you are still headed toward a dead end, a form of getting stuck, if you are leaving God out of t...
Post a Comment
Read more