“God has designed life in a way that is forward moving.”

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again (p. 22). Howard Books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

He made us that way.

Henry says, “As time moves forward we grow, develop, and transform into newer, more complete and mature lives. Unless . . . we are stuck. And there is no better way to remain stuck than to repeat what has already been. The last thing you want to do is relive the past all over again. Tomorrow should be new and improved—always!

“When a person comes to this realization, it’s usually because he has made the same mistake twice or more. He has gone back to some situation or person that he had left behind, thinking and hoping it would be ‘different this time.’ But he found, instead, that the old situation simply repeated itself. At some point in the journey, he realizes, ‘I was here before and I left. Why did I come back to do it again? How is it that I find myself here again?’

He goes on, “That realization if listened to, can become a great teacher. It is the wake-up call that says, ‘You knew this was what it was like. Yet you came back. You should have known better than to think it would be different this time.’ That understanding becomes a prediction when the person finds himself considering a repeat. His memory reminds him: ‘Remember when you went back before? Where did it get you? It got you right back to what you had left and for good reason. No need to repeat it.’

“And when it becomes a real awakening, that memory is not just about a specific situation. It becomes a memory that can apply to all situations: ‘If you left for a reason, you left for a reason. And if that reason is not gone, then you will be right back there again. Don’t go backward.’ This new understanding becomes a structure inside our wisdom brain that puts up the caution light and says, ‘This will not end well.’ Go for tomorrow, not yesterday. Unless, of course, yesterday was great and you truly want to do it again. Nothing wrong with that at all—if it truly was great.”

But Henry says, “If you are planning to go back and yet nothing has changed, make sure you know you are going back to what was and still is, not what you wish would be. If it truly is different, fine. But if not, do not make it different in your head.”

Listen to what is real, not what you wish is real.  Will you do that? 

Yes, yes!