“If you have to be someone else in order to do something, don’t do it.”

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again (p. 31). Howard Books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

That is so true.

Henry says, “Trying to be someone else simply will not work longer than a little while. The real you will come out in various ways, fighting on the outside—actively or passively—or dragging you down from within. Personhood—as God has designed it—is something to be fed, nurtured, matured, grown, and expressed. If it isn’t, it ends up expressing itself in negative ways.”

He goes on, “I am not saying that we should never do things that are ‘not me.’ Sometimes that’s actually the responsible thing to do. Like taking a job that is not who you are in order to support your family or to pay for an education or an illness. But notice something about that. Even though you may have to do something that is not fully ‘you,’ you do it for a reason that truly is you: the love of another person or family or mission or a decision driven by circumstance. And if you do it for sacrificial reasons, your motivating factor truly is you. That can change everything. The key is whether or not your motivating factor is a good one and whether or not you stay in touch with it.”

He continues, “I hate early mornings, but for years as a competitive golfer, I got up before the day began and went to the range for an hour or two to practice. Mornings are ‘not me,’ but golf was.

“God has made you a certain way, with certain abilities and inclinations. The Bible refers to these abilities and inclinations as gifts. The research world refers to them as strengths. What we know from God’s word, as well as years of scientific research, is this: you will do better in work, life, and relationships when you are acting in accord with who you truly are, versus trying to be someone you are not. Being who you truly are fuels performance, in all realms.”

Ecclesiastes 3:12–14, (NIV) says, “There is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.”

Henry then says, “So before you invest yourself in a person, a relationship, a team, a company, a career, a church, or anything that you will become a ‘part of’ in a meaningful way, ask yourself this question: Can I do this and still be me?

And that is a great question, isn’t it? 

Yes, yes!