Just Continue That Thought...

   A thought by Andy Stanley from his book,   Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets   (p. 64). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Okay, what does he mean? Andy says, "When confronted with anything or anybody that has strong emotional appeal, press pause, not play. Strong emotional appeal should trigger a red flag, not a green light. When something is emotionally appealing, instead of leaning in, we should step back. Not because he’s not the one. He may be. Not because it’s not a good investment. It may be. Not because it’s not the perfect job. It may be. We should step back because anything with strong emotional appeal . . . even the right thing . . . clouds our judgment. So pause. Get your bearings. Go home and think about it. Call a friend. Consider your story." He goes on, "Considering your story positions and empowers you to counteract the effects of focalism  . . ." Earlier he said, "Focalism, or anchoring ...

A thought by Andy Stanley from his book,   Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets   (p. 32). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) You realize that, don't you? Andy says, "You rarely have to sell yourself on the right thing to do, the healthy thing to do, the responsible thing to do. You just know. Good ideas rarely need any defense. When you start selling yourself, you need to hit the pause button and ask, 'Am I being completely honest with myself . . . really? If so, why am I selling myself so hard?' The wise thing to do is usually so compelling it doesn’t need selling." He goes on, "Our hearts get wrapped around something or someone and we experience desire. Want. So the heart sends a message to the brain: 'Hey brain, I want this. Figure out a way to justify it and get it for me.' Now our brains are smart. That’s why we call them brains. And our brains know that whereas it’s difficult to justify a want , it...

A thought by Andy Stanley from his book,   Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets   (p. 25). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Andy in this book is dealing with five questions for us to ask in making decisions and his first one is "Am I being honest with myself?" He says, "You may not owe it to anyone else. But you owe it to yourself to be honest about why you choose what you choose, why you’re deciding what you’re deciding. There’s no win in selling yourself. There’s no win in justifying options.  "Just tell yourself the truth." He goes on, "It helps to ask this question twice. But on the second round, it helps to add a word.  • Am I being honest with myself . . . really?  • Why am I doing this . . . really?  • Why am I avoiding him . . . really?  • Why am I postponing this . . . really?  • Why do I keep making excuses . . . really?  • Why am I going . . . really?  • Why did I say yes ....

  A thought by Andy Stanley from his book,   Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets   (p. 21). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) It can be tough, can't it? Especially when it is you and me. Andy says, "It’s pretty much impossible to lead a liar. In professional settings, you fire a liar. . . Fire the dishonest version of you and hire a new you . . . an honest you . . . a you that always tells you the truth, even when it makes you feel bad about you. Besides, dishonesty leaks. Lie to yourself and you’ll lie to others. FYI, if you have a hard time telling other people the truth when the truth makes you look bad . . . you’re probably not being honest with yourself either. It works both ways. "You know from experience that dishonesty erodes credibility and undermines moral authority. In a similar way, when we are dishonest with ourselves, it erodes credibility with ourselves. Sounds strange, I know. But when we lie out loud,...

A thought by Andy Stanley from his book,   Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets   (p. 19). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) That probably isn't the way it should be, but it is. Andy says, "You have talked yourself into . . . deceived yourself into . . . every bad decision you have ever made. Worse, you were the mastermind behind most of your regrettable decisions. Financial, relational, professional, academic. You were there for and willingly participated in all of ’em. "You’ve done more to undermine you own success and progress than anyone on the planet. Granted, there were outside pressures. Other voices. People promising you stuff. Maybe even threatening you with stuff. But in the end, you decided. But in most cases, you didn’t decide by carefully weighing all the options and seeking wise counsel. You did the opposite." He goes on, "In many instances, maybe even most, you knew better. Or, you should have known ...

A thought by Andy Stanley from his book,   Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets   (p. 11). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) So what does he mean by that? Andy says, "When we see other people make what we know to be bad decisions, it’s as if they are strategically and intentionally undermining their own happiness. It takes a lot of planning to marry someone you are incompatible with. It takes time and energy to launch a business built on faulty assumptions and poor market analysis. Think about all the paperwork couples have to wade through to purchase a house they can’t afford or apply for a loan they will struggle to repay. In most cases, these weren’t spur-of-the-moment decisions. It took planning." "Nobody decides to blow up a marriage. But every divorce is on the tail end of a string of decisions, including the decision to get married in the first place. Nobody decides to raise irresponsible, codependent children. But l...

  A thought by Andy Stanley from his book, Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets (p. 1). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) I'm sure every child thinks this to be true. Andy says, "I thought it was terrible, anyway.  "He wouldn’t tell me what to do.  "Specifically, he wouldn’t tell me what to do when I didn’t know what to do and wanted him to tell me what he thought I should do." He goes on, "True, most kids don’t want their parents telling them what to do. And I was like most kids most of the time. But on occasion, I wanted him to tell me what to do. And he wouldn’t. Worse, instead of answering my questions, he asked me questions! His go-to question was: What are you going to do when I’m not around to tell you what to do? "My go-to response was: But you are around, so tell me! "Clearly, his response did not indicate a lack of interest on his part. Just the opposite. As it turns out, I employed th...