“Make the endings a normal occurrence and a normal part of business and life, instead of seeing it as a problem.”

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Necessary Endings (p. 38).

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Making endings a normal part of business and life is so very important.

Henry says, “Then and only then can you align yourself well with endings when they come. It has to do with your brain and how it works.”

He continues, “If a situation falls within the range of normal, expected, and known, the human brain automatically marshals all available resources and moves to engage it. But if the brain interprets the situation as negative, dangerous, wrong, or unknown, a fight-or-flight response kicks in that moves us away from the issue or begins to resist it. Execution stops or automatically goes in the other direction. Put into the context of endings, if you see them as normal, expected, and even a good thing, you will embrace them and take action to execute them. You will see them as a painful gift. But if you see an ending as meaning ‘something is wrong if this has to happen,’ you will resist them or fight them long past when they should be fought. Endings have to be perceived as a normal part of work and life.”

Here is an example.  Henry says, “Unlike my friend Geoff, Blair had no conflict other than the need to work through the normal painful process that it takes to get to the ‘moment.’ He had tried to make his business work, numbed himself at first to the reality, protested and fought it by trying other strategies, turning up the crank and tried even harder, looking for new customers, etc. etc.—really rallying and pushing. He, like any other good leader, was embracing the problem and tackling it head-on. That is perseverance and a good trait. It is essential and causes businesses to be rescued out of the jaws of defeat every day.

“But he was also able to admit when more effort was not going to bring about a different result. That is the moment when someone really gets it and knows that something is over. You have seen the scene in the movies when the patient dies, the doctor looks up at the clock, quotes the time of death, breathes a heavy sigh, pulls off her gloves, and walks out the door. The doctor has done everything in her power to avoid this outcome, but when the monitor goes to the steady beep, she accepts what is normal, albeit unwanted, and moves on to try to save the next life.

“Likewise, in business and life, there comes a moment when that reality must be seen and grasped. Blair was able to grasp it because it fit into his worldview, that sometimes things end. His view of normal included the fact that ‘this happens sometimes.’ It is just as important a leadership and personal trait as perseverance. As a result of it, he could take the moment and move on. Now he is at the top of another field. If he could not have done that, he could still be at the bottom of the old one, trying very, very hard and talking to the hundredth group of investors.

He also says, “Geoff, on the other hand, does not view endings as a normal part of the way the world is. In his head, if something is not working, the only option is to ‘solve the problem’ or ‘work on the strategy or sales.’ His worldview does not enable him to ask, Is this thing over? He is blind to the fact that his business is in a product line whose time has passed; instead, he thinks the team just needs to work harder or better. The truth is that there is no problem to be solved, other than to get a new set of problems.

“This does not mean that Geoff’s company has to die completely, but it will not survive if Geoff doesn’t end their current product emphasis and morph it into something new and different. But he cannot do that because he is in conflict with endings in general. He sees them as failure instead of sometimes a natural occurrence.

“Certainly, I am not saying that every time something is not working, it should end. In fact, it is usually the opposite. As I said, most good ideas have problems and hit obstacles, and leadership takes them through the crises and struggles to success. That is why we need turnaround experts.

Henry says, “But there is a time, a moment when it is truly over, and if that is not in your view of life, you can miss the right time to get out and to turn your attention to something different or new.”

So, let’s be ready and anticipate that moment when or if it comes, okay? 

Yes, yes!