Just Continue That Thought...

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Necessary Endings (p. 43). HarperCollins e-books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Your perspective and understanding are the keys. Henry says, “That lesson learned helps boards move founders into other roles and bring in seasoned management. They do not have to approach it as if the founder is failing. It helps CEOs make tough decisions also, knowing that they are aligning their business with the natural order that they see unfolding before them. It makes letting go of a long love affair with a product line or a brand possible. ” He goes on, “Blair implicitly believed in life cycles and seasons, and he saw that the long harvest that he had enjoyed for so many years was about to end. It was time to shut down and get out while the assets and revenues that were left still had some value. But more than capturing value from what was left, the real task was to get to a field that had s

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Necessary Endings (p. 40). HarperCollins e-books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) We need to accept this and expect it. Henry says, “Nothing lasts forever. Even the ceremonial liturgy of marriage, a lifelong commitment, acknowledges an end on its first day, ‘till death do us part.’ Life cycles and seasons are built into the nature of everything. When we accept that as a fundamental truth, we can align our actions with our feelings, our beliefs with our behaviors, to accept how things are, even when they die.” “He says, “Each season also has its own set of activities. Spring is about sowing and beginnings. Where there is nothing but a waiting field, the farmer sows seeds in the expectation that they will take root and produce a harvest. “The tasks of spring include: •       Cleaning out what is left over from the winter’s dying plants; •       Gathering seeds; •       F

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Necessary Endings (p. 38). HarperCollins e-books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Making endings a normal part of business and life is so very important. Henry says, “Then and only then can you align yourself well with endings when they come. It has to do with your brain and how it works.” He continues, “If a situation falls within the range of normal, expected, and known, the human brain automatically marshals all available resources and moves to engage it. But if the brain interprets the situation as negative, dangerous, wrong, or unknown, a fight-or-flight response kicks in that moves us away from the issue or begins to resist it. Execution stops or automatically goes in the other direction. Put into the context of endings, if you see them as normal, expected, and even a good thing , you will embrace them and take action to execute them. You will see them as a painful gift. Bu

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Necessary Endings (p. 31). HarperCollins e-books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Here is a practical, personal application of this thought. Henry says, “If people could learn to say things like, ‘We only have a little time, let’s stay away from certain issues and focus on what we can do something about,’ or ‘Let’s use our time in a good way,’ the resources of time and energy would be better spent.” He goes on, “In the personal realm, I have also taught this method to couples, and they see immediate changes. One couple reported back that they changed their weekly ‘date night’ as a result: “We used to take the time to have a date night every week, get a babysitter to spend time together apart from the kids. But, we would go out and end up talking about the kids, running the house, and all the things that we were trying to get away from. We lost the benefit of date night and we

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Necessary Endings (p. 23). HarperCollins e-books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) And it never should be. Henry says, “Here is a recent example I encountered in a coaching session with Ellen, a high-level executive in a multibillion-dollar company. She had recently earned a significant promotion that moved her from the ranks of management into a senior leadership position. As a result, she was now responsible for creating the organizational strategy she had previously just implemented. Ellen knew she faced some challenges in making the transition. ” Here is some of the conversation, “. . . she said. ‘For my entire career, I have had a practice. . . I always think about the people I manage and see them in their cars driving home from work. I picture the kind of mood they are in and want them to be up and enthusiastic about their day at the company, and I work hard to make those r

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Necessary Endings (p. 18). HarperCollins e-books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) We don’t need to do any pruning in our lives if we accept our endeavors as being average. But do we want to be average?  By the way, what does it mean to be average? Henry says, “And here is the key point: by average, I don’t mean on an absolute basis. There is nothing wrong with being in the middle of the bell curve in many aspects of life, as that may be what success is for that person or at least that dimension of life. I have friends who own small businesses of less than average size in their industry or by other measurements, yet they have a fully maximized, thriving enterprise for what it is and is supposed to be. Hundreds of employees and tens of millions of dollars is a great rose of a business and a life for what their talents, dreams, and opportunities consist of. Not the size of Microsoft pe

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Necessary Endings (p. 15). HarperCollins e-books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Henry in this book is dealing with necessary endings. He says, “The gardener intentionally and purposefully cuts off branches and buds that fall into any of three categories: 1. Healthy buds or branches that are not the best ones, 2. Sick branches that are not going to get well, and 3. Dead branches that are taking up space needed for the healthy ones to thrive.” He starts with, “ Necessary Ending Type 1.   Rosebushes and other plants produce more buds than the plant can sustain. The plant has enough life and resources to feed and nurture only so many buds to their full potential; it can’t bring all of them to full bloom. In order for the bush to thrive, a certain number of buds have to go. The caretaker constantly examines the bush to see which buds are worthy of the plant’s limited fuel and suppo

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Necessary Endings (p. 6). HarperCollins e-books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) And that can be very difficult, but so very necessary? Henry says, “Infancy gives rise to toddlerhood, and must be forever shunned in order to get to the independence that allows a child to thrive. Later, childhood itself must be given up for people to become the adults that they were designed to be. “Getting to the next level always requires ending something, leaving it behind, and moving on. Growth itself demands that we move on. Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them.” He continues, “Some endings are not a next natural step but are just as necessary. We wish they weren’t, but they are. They come about not in pursuit of growth to the next level, but because someth

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again (p. 83). Howard Books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Now, what does that mean? Henry says, “I learned that ‘lazy’ does not mean ‘couch potato’ or ‘inactive’ at all. In fact, some of the ‘laziest’ people are very, very active.” He goes on, “I began to do some research into the meaning of the word ‘sluggard’ as it is used in the Bible. I saw that it is closely tied to the word ‘indolent’ and other meanings that basically refer to people who want a life that is devoid of ‘pain.’ So you can be lazy, or a sluggard as the Bible puts it, and still be very active. But in all of your energy and activity, you will still be lazy about doing anything uncomfortable or that involves pain. So I began to understand something: The true definition of ‘sluggard’ is someone who avoids pain. ” He continues, “Here is the truth: Once successful people

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again (p. 67). Howard Books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) We need to really learn that, don’t we? Henry says, “Successful people realize that just because someone is unhappy with them does not require that they give up their purpose, fold their cards, or change. They realize that making some people unhappy is just part of the deal—and they keep going. I once heard Tony Blair say that when you realize that every decision divides, it really helps. It is just part of life. When you turn to the right, there will be some who want you to go to the left, and vice versa. It is the nature of making choices. When we accept that every decision divides, we quit trying to do the impossible, i.e., pleasing everyone, and we begin making the right choices, knowing that our choices will divide.” Henry goes on, “Happy people do not compare themselves to ot

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again (p. 64). Howard Books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) And that is true, isn’t it? Henry says, “It matters to anyone who has a heart. Only the most emotionally and relationally cut off people have zero interest in whether others like them or feel positively toward them. We all have a human need to be loved by others, and we all enjoy positive appraisals. Our entire beings are wired that way from infancy on. Smile at a baby, and you will get a different response than if you frown at him. But that does not mean that everyone who frowns at you for the rest of your life should all of a sudden become your master.” He goes on, “Successful people eventually go through a doorway that is essential to making their personal lives, as well as their professional lives, work: they realize that they do not have to please everyone or have everyone lik

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again (p. 55). Howard Books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) This is so important to see! Henry says, “Consequences are about giving the person the freedom to choose what they will choose, and then our choosing what our response will be in light of their choice. . . Setting consequences in place gives the person a clear choice and sets them free to make it; and then our job is to accept the consequence. We let them know that they can choose a or b. If they choose a, then certain things will happen; and if they choose b, other things will happen. That is clarity and freedom. “This mind-set does so many good things. It helps you get clear about what you want. It forces you to communicate what you want directly. It keeps you from being judgmental, nagging, controlling, or cajoling—all of which bring about bad feelings in the relationship. And m

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again (p. 51). Howard Books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) And we really need to see and understand that in our relationships.  Henry says, “Once we understand this, we never go back to thinking we can. We get in touch with the way God has designed the universe. People are not robots; they are free to choose what they want and what they will do and what they won’t do. “When we realize that, we stop trying to do what will never work, which is trying to change people into something they do not want to be or convince them to do something they do not want to do. It never works. While we can influence them, ultimately we cannot change them.” He goes on, “Consider relationships that you may have with these types of people: ·       A critical person who withholds approval ·       An addicted person who refuses to get sober ·       An i