Just Continue That Thought...

A thought by David Roberts from his book,  Healing Conversation   (p. 59). Moran James Publishing. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) That is a very good image to think about. David says, " Imagine the potential if we could create safe spaces in which people could be vulnerable, heal from past wounds and learn to engage in meaningful conversation? What if, with our words and patience, we could open closed hearts, build trust, and help people feel liberation and joy at the prospect of talking honestly about their fears, thoughts, beliefs, hopes, and dreams? We could talk each other out of brokenness and isolation and into connection and wholeness. We could talk ourselves into some places in life that have yet to be built. We could talk ourselves into a renewed marriage, or a real understanding of our children. We could talk ourselves into politics that unite instead of divide. We could talk ourselves into a society that is fair and ...

A thought by David Roberts from his book,  Healing Conversation   (p. 54). Moran James Publishing. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) He continues this thought, " We see examples of poor communication all too often in life, in books and in movies and we scoff and say the word 'dysfunctional' to allude to that situation. Why don’t we connect with ease, spontaneity and deep joy with each other? We’ve touched on some barriers to great conversations in previous chapters. The right/wrong trap, extremism in our culture, hostile individuals, and hiding within a tribe or behind a mask are some of these. Our personal brokenness and issues also get in the way. "Our fears, insecurities, and judgmental attitudes, adopting the habit of thinking in extremes or in generalities—all these things keep us apart. So, we do what we know, which is speak out of our own needs. That naturally causes us to push our own agendas which sabotages safe commu...

A thought by David Roberts from his book,  Healing Conversation   (p. 54). Moran James Publishing. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) To connect and understand, we definitely need to communicate. David says, "What is connection? It is the many shared moments that bind us together. What is required to have such connection? Our stories connect us. Shared experiences connect us. Laughter connects us, but underneath all of that we deeply connect through attentiveness, kindness, tenderness, and compassion." He continues, "How do we understand the content of kindness, tenderness and compassion? We have to talk. The deepest way we have to share life, ideas, feelings and relationship is through meaningful conversations, whether written or spoken. The primary way we can learn, grow, connect, understand and become relationally involved is with our words. All our understanding is built through communication." He goes on, "Talking a...

A thought by David Roberts from his book,  Healing Conversation   (p. 35). Moran James Publishing. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) We don't want to go it alone so we choose a tribe to belong. David says, " Choosing a tribe is a perfect way to hide in plain sight. It satisfies our need to belong, kind of. It gives us a sense of identity, sort of. It allows us to know and be fully known, in theory. This attempt to belong by selecting a tribe is not just a practical decision, it is emotional. We have a very deep longing to put an end to our feelings of disconnection and loneliness. The tribe choosing satisfies a need to belong, but to the extent we are hiding who we are, it also allows us to maintain a very real sense of anonymity. While it feels safe, it is also lonely. Often, the well-defined attributes of a group can be confining and demanding. Choosing a tribe can sometimes be complicated." He goes on, "Safety exists in nu...

A thought by David Roberts from his book,  Healing Conversation   (p. 20). Moran James Publishing. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) And that is so true. David says, " I long for us to find a renewed sense of respect, connection and grace, to rediscover conversations of dignity, curiosity and growth. "I have longings for our culture, our politics, our world, our relationships, my world, and my life. Sometimes it’s hard to talk about longings because it may imply that we’re unhappy. We want so badly for things to be good. We want to be strong, to be okay." He goes on, "I long for unity, collaboration, resolution and combined efforts leading to combined celebrations. But everywhere I look I see polarized views pulling us apart. I see extreme fanaticism creating endless wars abroad and here. The voices of much of our culture are mean, unfair, and ill-mannered and I’m sick of hearing them. What also sickens me is that people see...

A thought by David Roberts from his book,  Healing Conversation   (p. 13). Moran James Publishing. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) That's an honest thought. David says, "Do you feel that way? I had hoped by now, having passed through so many milestones in my life, that life would be more tranquil. Just saying that sentence aloud feels unsettling. What an open-ended line of thinking. How would you finish the sentence? I had hoped by now my life would be_______!" He later says, "How many of us have an inner soundtrack that plays heightened music that serves as a warning that some sort of danger is just around the next corner? How many live with an anxious sense that we are not where we should be, the world is out of control and something is bound to jump out of the dark and get us? Are there those of us who sense we are on the wrong road, at the wrong time and too late we will finally see what’s dead ahead? Will we wish we ha...

A thought by David Roberts from his book,  Healing Conversation   (p. 8). Moran James Publishing. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) That is so true, isn't it? David says, "People assert with great passion that my idea, philosophy, point of view is right, and yours is wrong." He goes on, "There was a time when the church seemed to understand that they were called to be the ultimate place of hospitality where everyone who was weak or heavy burdened could find a place to rest and be restored. Churches were places where people could celebrate their spiritual paths with honesty, inclusion and love. Churches were great role models of caring hospitality and safe places for people to unburden themselves or at least, converse deeply. And, some still provide this beautifully. "These last few decades, however, have seen more and more churches descend into places of debate over the most difficult political, social, cultural and gene...

A thought by David Roberts from his book,  Healing Conversation   (p. 6). Moran James Publishing. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) We need to understand this, don't we? David says, " Henri J.M. Nouwen has defined hospitality as: '…primarily the creation of free space where the stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy. Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place. It is not to bring men and women over to our side, but to offer freedom not disturbed by dividing lines.'" 1 David goes on, "Every human being longs to be wholly himself; to be happy, to be known, not hidden, to love and to be loved, appreciated, understood, supported, celebrated and connected. In all the years I have served as a pastor I have never had anyone come into my office seeking loneliness. Some have come wishing they could be left alone, but no one wants to be lonely. "The key to be...

A thought by David Roberts from his book, Healing Conversation   (p. 4). Moran James Publishing. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) This is the first of three purposes for us to talk. David says, " It’s basic stuff. When are we leaving? What’s for dinner? Do you need anything from the store? Although functional talking is basic to navigating our lives, it still requires caring attentiveness to be effective. We encounter a lot of conflict because we do not communicate the functional information clearly. Without listening and clearly articulating what we mean, functional talking can complicate the simplest of tasks. This is where many of our conversations devolve. These logistical conversations typically are not impassioned or emotional unless someone has messed up the information and we experience conflict. At those times the kind of 'passion' that is revealed can be hostile and unsafe. If we can’t safely talk about such low-level in...