A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys (p. 73). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)
We sure are!
Mike says, “God never intended for everyone to be the same, even though it might seem to be more comfortable. Just as there is variety in nature, there is variety in people.
“Relational pain doesn’t usually come from the areas where we are alike, but from those areas where we differ.
“Imagine going to an orchestra concert and finding that the only instruments being played were violins. No brass, no percussion, no woodwinds—only violins. While a violin can produce a mesmerizing sound, we would quickly grow tired of a concert with no other instruments.
“The people in our lives are like an orchestra. They’re all unique, and together they provide richness to the music of our lives. Some of those people seem crazy, while others bring energy. Each makes their own ‘sound’ and they blend together to create a symphony.
“Crazy people are like a tuba gone wild. They ignore the sheet music and begin playing their own tune, overpowering the rest of the orchestra. All we can focus on is the loud, brassy tuba, and it ruins the concert for us. How can we control the tuba?”
He goes on, “There’s one basic principle that applies, though: the tuba will always be a tuba. We can’t change it into a flute; we have to deal with it as a tuba.
“When dealing with crazy people, we can’t change their temperament. Whether we like it or not, it’s who they are. If we try to turn them into something they’re not, we’ll only be frustrated.”
He then says, “We can influence other people’s behaviors and choices, but we can’t change their temperament. ‘Can a leopard change its spots?’ (Jer. 13:23). The obvious answer is ‘no.’ Asking an introvert to become an extrovert is like asking a golden retriever to become a spider monkey. It might seem like a good idea, but it’s not going to happen.”
He finishes this section by saying, “When we try to influence others, we need to focus on their actions and attitudes, not their temperaments.”
Love, acceptance, and forgiveness are three elements in healthy relationships and acceptance is an important part of it. So let's strive to make this holiday season an enjoyable and peaceful one by accepting the tuba in our midst, OK?
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