Skip to main content

“From birth, we have an innate need for safety and security.”

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, Dealing with the Elephant in the Room: Moving from Tough Conversations to Healthy Communication (p. 47). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

That is the truth!

Mike says, “We want to know what we can count on so we have a secure anchor point for exploring the future. It’s like standing on a crowded bus or train. When it stops suddenly, people instinctively grab for a railing to hang on to. They trust that it won’t go anywhere.

He continues, “Let’s say I have a checking account and a savings account at my bank. Let’s also say that my checking account is low. There’s enough to pay the bills this month but nothing left over for frills or emergencies.

 “Then the refrigerator breaks. If I have ten dollars in my savings account, I’m going to be pretty stressed about the fridge. If I have one hundred thousand dollars in my savings account, I’m going to feel a lot better. My checking account balance hasn’t changed, but having that reserve in savings, even if I’m not planning to use it, gives me a different perspective. There’s a security beneath the surface that I can hang on to.”

He goes on, “Relationships thrive on security. If we know our boss is committed to helping us grow in our career path, we’re not as terrified when we make a major mistake. If we know our spouse is deeply committed to the relationship, we are free to have tough conversations without being intimidated or frightened of what will happen.

“One person might have a low need for security, so they’re excited about any possibility of change. If the other person has a high need for security, even a small change can be threatening. Put those two people into a relationship, and it can get pretty interesting.”

He then says, “The key is not to decide who’s right and who’s wrong. The key is to listen to the needs of the other person and try to understand their perspective. Only then can both people work creatively toward a solution that will meet both of their needs.”

That makes sense, doesn’t it?


Yes, yes!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"Jesus comes in the midst of the torrent."

  A thought by Max Lucado from his book,  You Are Never Alone  (p. 60). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.)   We all have storms in our lives, don't we? Max says, "No one gets through life scot-free. At one point or another the sky will darken, the winds will rage, and we will find ourselves in a modern-day version of the Galilean gusher." John 6:16–18 (NIV) says, "When evening came, his disciples went down to the lake, where they got into a boat and set off across the lake for Capernaum. By now it was dark, and Jesus had not yet joined them. A strong wind was blowing and the waters grew rough." Max goes on, "The hearts of the followers began to sink as their boat was certain to do. Their skin was soaked, throats hoarse, eyes wide. They searched the sky for a break in the clouds. They gripped the boat for fear of the waves. They screamed their prayers for help. But they heard nothing. "If only Jesu

“When you understand that life is a test, you realize that nothing is insignificant in your life.”

A thought by Rick Warren, (2012-10-23) from his book, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? (Purpose Driven Life, The) (p. 57). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. To realize that from God’s perspective life is a test goes a long way in determining how you handle your life.   It is important to see that in testing your character is both developed and revealed.   Rick goes on to say that “even the smallest incident has significance for your character development. Every day is an important day, and every second is a growth opportunity to deepen your character, to demonstrate love, or to depend on God.” So there is a God purpose behind each situation in your life.   Even the bad ones are there to strengthen you and develop you.   You see those bad situations are really good ones because they are there for your good. I start each day with a reminder that God is good.   Not every situation that is going to come in my day is good but because God is good He will use e

“What areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept?”

A thought by Rick Warren, (2012-10-23) from his book, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? (Purpose Driven Life, The) (p. 35). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. Rick posed this question at the end of his chapter, You Are Not an Accident.   In this chapter he deals with the fact that God created you the way you are with a purpose.   In other words you are not an accident.   I am also reading the Apostle John’s view of Jesus and what He said and did while He was here on earth.   In the beginning of Chapter 9 there is a story about a blind man.   And the disciples who were with Him asked Him a good question, “Who sinned, this man or his parents that he was born blind? ”   Have you ever asked the same thing about something in you that you don’t like?   Like that characteristic is a curse or something.   Society has set a standard that is not a standard of God.   Remember, He created you and you are not an accident. Jesus did answer the question about the blind