A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, Dealing with the Elephant in the Room: Moving from Tough Conversations to Healthy Communication (p. 58). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)
In so many negative situations a new perspective can make a major difference.
“Mike says, “Someone said, ‘In the absence of data, we tend to make things up.’ That’s why it’s important to keep talking about hard issues. If we don’t, we won’t know what the other person is thinking. So we start believing our made-up perspectives, imagining things that aren’t there and assuming they’re true.
“When people have an issue with someone else, they are often uncomfortable talking to them about it. So they take the easier path, which is to talk with everyone else instead of that person. Any time we talk about people without talking to them, we run the risk of damaging our relationship with them. The only way to build healthy relationships is to go directly to the person involved, even if it’s challenging.”
Later he says, “So how can people who are so different work together when conversations get tough? We need to look through the other person’s eyes and see what they see—not so we can agree with them but so we can understand them.
“My wife and I saw a sculpture in front of an office complex that demonstrates the concept well. We stood on opposite sides of it, knowing that we were looking at the same sculpture. From her side, it was obviously a slim, attractive girl wrapped in a delicate gown. But from my side, it was a huge nose with a giant nostril at the bottom.
“We could describe what we saw and think the other person was completely crazy. She could wonder why I was chuckling at the absurdity of the statue, while I could wonder how she could think it was beautiful. We could argue all day about what we saw because it was so obvious to us. Then we could drive home in silence, feeling like the other person was just being stubborn.
“What could we do differently? I could walk to her side and see what she was seeing. Then we could walk over to my side and see what I was seeing. Then we could hold hands and explore the statue together because we had seen each other’s point of view.”
That is a great way to describe seeing situations from another perspective and what a difference it would make to see it from another view. Let’s stop and strive to really see from the others person view. It could make all of the difference, couldn’t it?
Yes, yes!
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