A thought by John Townsend from his book, Loving People (p.19). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)
That is so right, isn’t it?
He says, “When we love someone, we bend our heart, mind, and energies toward the betterment of someone else. That is what loving people do. It involves the whole person. It is ongoing and intentional.
“This understanding of love. . . has to do with how we treat each other. That is, at its heart, love is a value. A value is something that forms the basis for who you are and how you run your life and relationships. People have values for their finances, such as conservative or aggressive investing values. They have values for their careers, such as concentrating on what they want to accomplish with their gifts and talents. And they have values for their spiritual lives, such as making God a central part of their lives and adhering to the tenets of their theology. Likewise, people have values for their relationships, such as the importance of people in their lives being safe and honest with each other.”
He continues, “In other words, love is having a value for doing and being what is most helpful for someone. Its intent is for the betterment, safety, healing, growth, success, and responsible behavior of someone else. It is an others-oriented and others-focused value. It involves actions, words, feelings, and experiences that all come together in love. For example, loving someone could be helping him feel included in a party. It could be providing a listening ear to her hurts. It could be loaning him your car when his is broken down.”
He goes on, “There are also times when what is truly best for someone may not always be what that person thinks is best. It could be telling a friend that you don’t think the guy she is dating is good for her. Or it could mean taking a job you don’t like in order to provide for your family. Loving people become, and do, what is good for people they care about.
“As the architect of love, God lives out this definition. He is constantly seeking and doing what is for our best, things that help us connect, grow, and heal. He is actively doing whatever it takes for us to be the people he designed us to be. The ultimate example of his love is, and always will be, in the sacrifice of Jesus for an alienated and broken creation: ‘For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.’(John 3:16) For centuries, the mystery of a love that would move someone to give that much of himself for others has been a profound inspiration and hope for anyone who wants to understand what loving is. But in seeking for, and acting for, our best, God provided his best. And that is often what loving is all about.”
He then says, “So, in this view, love is more than a close feeling and a sense of intimacy with others. In fact, when you love someone the right way, it may have the opposite effect from closeness! Confronting someone who is being hurtful may cause conflict or distance. It may be painful. But let’s return to our definition of love: seeking and doing what is best for that person. The easy thing, which is to avoid the confrontation, might seem more loving to your friend, but it would actually be a form of neglect, because your loved one may suffer without your correction.”
And we really do need to have and to live it, don’t we?
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