“Truth is simply what is factual and real. It is what is.”

A thought by John Townsend from his book, People Fuel (p. 62). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

This is the middle of the three proper elements for growth.  They are grace, truth and time.

John says, “Truth informs, educates, enlightens, corrects, and confronts us. Every time you drive across a bridge, you are trusting the truths of the laws of physics and engineering which the construction was based on. When you read a book that gives you a new way to think, you are experiencing truth.

“There are many ways we can take truth into our minds and lives, among them:

•​The Bible, which informs and guides us

•​Research, the systematic analysis leading to truthful conclusions and principles about medicine, careers, sports, families, and theology

•​Experts, those individuals who have high levels of data about their subject

•​Feedback, the personal insights and observations that people who know us well tell us to help us grow and be better people”

He later says, “We all need the truth, from its various sources, to be the people we were designed to be. But let’s face it, most of us are more comfortable with receiving grace than with hearing truth. We don’t wake up in the morning thinking, It will be an awesome day if people confront me with a lot of truth. We may value truth, but there’s also an ouch factor. That is one reason grace is so important, as it delivers enough safety and acceptance for us to be able to digest the truth.

“Remember that truth without grace can be judgment and condemnation. But grace without truth can become licentiousness and irresponsibility. God requires both elements.

“Sometimes you need to have the grace in place prior to delivering the truth, especially when it’s a tough conversation or a new relationship. In long-term and sound relationships, not as much. If you have been married twenty years and must say, ‘I just want you to know that I accept you’ before you tell your spouse it bugs you that they don’t put the cap on the toothpaste, you have a problem!”

He continues, “Also, grace should be a seasoning you add during a truth talk as much as something you do beforehand. We have what psychologists call a persecutory judge in our heads. That judge looks for opportunities to see others as condemning us when they are just shooting straight with us. And during a difficult conversation, the persecutory judge can get activated and derail the talk. You may have experienced this in a conversation when halfway through, out of the blue, the person says, ‘You’re just putting me down,’ when you are trying to build them up through observing a problem.”

He then says, “So make sure, when you are in truth mode, that you make efforts to be warm, give good eye contact, let the person know you are for them and admit that you are also flawed and need correction in your life. That will help the process.”

Give grace, help them to see that you believe in them and care for them then share the truth.  Remember truth can be both affirming and challenging and we all need both to grow, don’t we? 

Yes, yes!