Skip to main content

“Let’s say a salesperson doesn’t handle a prize account well and loses it.”

A thought by John Townsend from his book, People Fuel (p. 70). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

Ok, let’s say that.

John goes on, “The objective memory is the facts: he didn’t attend to the client’s needs in time to preserve the business relationship. The subjective memory is shame, guilt, and a sense of defeat.

Feeling shame!
“We know that shame, guilt, and defeat can paralyze a person; it does no good for him or the organization. So when a competent boss analyzes what happened, he is best served by doing two things. He affirms the facts: ‘Yes, the loss of the account is your responsibility, and it was a significant failure.’ But then instead of heaping on more shame, guilt, and defeat, he says, ‘I understand how you’re beating yourself up over this. At the same time, I believe in you and your talents. I am not overly concerned about this, because I know your character. I had my own learning curve in your position, and it worked out. Let me know how I can help.’”

He continues, “Time after time, we find that the person walks out of that meeting with a new way of thinking and feeling about the situation. Unless he has significant emotional issues and needs more help from a counselor, he is on his way to growing because of what happened.

“The boss’s differing perspective is called a mismatching experience. The term refers to the reality that his way of looking at the matter is at odds with how the salesman is feeling about things. And if it is a true relational experience—if it is delivered with mutual openness and warmth—it removes the unhealthy emotions and replaces them with the healthier outlook.

“Looking at what happened in terms of relational nutrients, the boss transferred great ingredients such as encouragement and hope to his direct through the process.”

John then says, “You don’t need to be a therapist to do this. The boss in this situation was a client of mine, and he had simply learned the skill. While there are many instances in which a counselor is necessary, leaders can accomplish a lot more than they think they can in this relational nutrient world. And that includes you.”

There is so much to learn but there is such a benefit, isn’t there? 

Yes, yes!
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

“We believe it’s important to derive value from everything in our lives.”

A thought by Jon Tyson from his book, The Burden Is Light: Liberating Your Life from the Tyranny of Performance and Success (p. 118). The Crown Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) But is that all that is important? Jon says, “We want to realize an immediate return from whatever we invest in. I am prone to this way of thinking in so many areas of my life. ‘I paid a lot for that meal, yet the portions were not that big.’ ‘I invested two hours in that movie, and it was just okay.’   ‘I went to church, but the sermon wasn’t that profound.’ We believe it’s important to derive value from everything in our lives. But beauty doesn’t fit within that framework. When Mary anointed Jesus with oil, there was an immediate outcry against her extravagant generosity. ‘It could have been sold for more than a year’s wages and the money given to the poor.’ (Mark 14:5) One gospel depicts the disciples crying, ‘Why this waste?...
Post a Comment
Read more

"Lie 2: The more you worry about it, the better your odds of avoiding it."

A thought by Louie Giglio in his book,   Winning the War on Worry    (p. 5). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Here is another lie that the Enemy uses with us. And Louie says, "This is a tricky lie. Yes, we often have cause for concern and preparation. But the Enemy wants you to believe that if you worry or fret over a certain outcome long enough, you can keep something bad from happening." But this is so important to realize. He says, "The reality is worrying has never once prevented something negative from happening. Planning might. Prayer has. But worry never will." He continues, "The Enemy tells you that by worrying about a situation (or every situation) you can make your tomorrow better. Really, worry just robs you of today. Jesus implored us: 'I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body mor...
Post a Comment
Read more

“Hurry and love are incompatible.”

A thought by John Mark Comer from his book, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry (p. 23). The Crown Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Wow, pretty strong thought isn’t it? John says, “All my worst moments as a father, a husband, and a pastor, even as a human being, are when I’m in a hurry—late for an appointment, behind on my unrealistic to-do list, trying to cram too much into my day. I ooze anger, tension, a critical nagging—the antitheses of love. If you don’t believe me, next time you’re trying to get your type B wife and three young, easily distracted children out of the house and you’re running late (a subject on which I have a wealth of experience), just pay attention to how you relate to them. Does it look and feel like love? Or is it far more in the vein of agitation, anger, a biting comment, a rough glare? Hurry and love are oil and water: they simply do not mix.” He goes on, “Hence, in the apostle P...
Post a Comment
Read more