Skip to main content

“Let’s say a salesperson doesn’t handle a prize account well and loses it.”

A thought by John Townsend from his book, People Fuel (p. 70). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

Ok, let’s say that.

John goes on, “The objective memory is the facts: he didn’t attend to the client’s needs in time to preserve the business relationship. The subjective memory is shame, guilt, and a sense of defeat.

Feeling shame!
“We know that shame, guilt, and defeat can paralyze a person; it does no good for him or the organization. So when a competent boss analyzes what happened, he is best served by doing two things. He affirms the facts: ‘Yes, the loss of the account is your responsibility, and it was a significant failure.’ But then instead of heaping on more shame, guilt, and defeat, he says, ‘I understand how you’re beating yourself up over this. At the same time, I believe in you and your talents. I am not overly concerned about this, because I know your character. I had my own learning curve in your position, and it worked out. Let me know how I can help.’

He continues, “Time after time, we find that the person walks out of that meeting with a new way of thinking and feeling about the situation. Unless he has significant emotional issues and needs more help from a counselor, he is on his way to growing because of what happened.

“The boss’s differing perspective is called a mismatching experience. The term refers to the reality that his way of looking at the matter is at odds with how the salesman is feeling about things. And if it is a true relational experience—if it is delivered with mutual openness and warmth—it removes the unhealthy emotions and replaces them with the healthier outlook.

“Looking at what happened in terms of relational nutrients, the boss transferred great ingredients such as encouragement and hope to his direct through the process.”

John then says, “You don’t need to be a therapist to do this. The boss in this situation was a client of mine, and he had simply learned the skill. While there are many instances in which a counselor is necessary, leaders can accomplish a lot more than they think they can in this relational nutrient world. And that includes you.”

There is so much to learn but there is such a benefit, isn’t there? 

Yes, yes!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

“There’s a big difference between building a castle and building a kingdom.”

A thought by Bob Goff from his book, Everybody, Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People ( p. 41). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)   Have you ever built a sand castle or maybe a Lego castle?   Have you? Bob says, “We actually build castles all the time, out of our jobs and our families and the things we’ve purchased. Sometimes we even make them out of each other. Some of these castles are impressive too. Lots of people come to admire what we’ve built over the course of our lives and tell us what great castles we have. But Jesus told His friends we weren’t supposed to spend our lives building castles. He said He wanted us to build a kingdom, and there’s a big difference between building a castle and building a kingdom.” Bob goes on, “You see, castles have moats to keep creepy people out, but kingdoms have bridges to let everyone in. Castles have dungeons for people who ha...

“God does big things with small deeds.”

A thought by Max Lucado (2011-05-02) from his book, Cure for the Common Life (p. 115). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) I don’t know how you feel about what you are doing and how it can make a difference.   You may feel that it is so small and not even worth the effort. Max says, “Begin. Just begin! What seems small to you might be huge to someone else. Just ask Bohn Fawkes. During World War II, he piloted a B-17. On one mission he sustained flak from Nazi antiaircraft guns. Even though his gas tanks were hit, the plane did not explode, and Fawkes was able to land the plane. “On the morning following the raid, Fawkes asked his crew chief for the German shell. He wanted to keep a souvenir of his incredible good fortune. The crew chief explained that not just one but eleven shells had been found in the gas tanks, none of which had exploded. “Technicians opened the missiles and found them void of explosive cha...

"Lie 2: The more you worry about it, the better your odds of avoiding it."

A thought by Louie Giglio in his book,   Winning the War on Worry    (p. 5). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Here is another lie that the Enemy uses with us. And Louie says, "This is a tricky lie. Yes, we often have cause for concern and preparation. But the Enemy wants you to believe that if you worry or fret over a certain outcome long enough, you can keep something bad from happening." But this is so important to realize. He says, "The reality is worrying has never once prevented something negative from happening. Planning might. Prayer has. But worry never will." He continues, "The Enemy tells you that by worrying about a situation (or every situation) you can make your tomorrow better. Really, worry just robs you of today. Jesus implored us: 'I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body mor...