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“We cannot go where we want to go in life if we do not own both what we do and what we don’t do.”

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Changes That Heal (p. 120). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

But I have places where I want to go.  Don’t you?

Henry says, “God takes responsibility for what he does. He requires us to take responsibility for what we do. If we disown responsibility for our behavior, we are out of control, or powerless. We cannot go where we want to go in life if we do not own both what we do and what we don’t do.

He goes on, “People out of touch with this truth feel powerless because they have no faith in the basic law of cause and effect. This law is also called the law of reaping and sowing, which governs the entire universe. God has set up an ordered universe: if we behave in a certain way, certain things will happen. It is the basis for our security, for it gives us control of ourselves and our life. Irresponsible people hate this law and suffer greatly. Responsible people thrive on it. Let’s look briefly at how it works.”

He continues, “God has set up a dependable system. Like in the laws of physics, for every action, there is an equal reaction. If we do something, something happens; if we do nothing, nothing happens. If we want to stay healthy, then we must eat good food. If we want to have money to pay the mortgage, then we must work. God intended for us to have this feeling of power over our lives. On the one hand, we can cause good things to happen. If we want to build a good relationship with someone, we can smile at her or give her a hug. If we want to be a veterinarian, we can go to school and study and gain animal doctoring skills. This principle of owning our behavior is the basis for having a sense of power as people. It says that we can affect, or influence, our lives and the lives of others.

“On the other hand, we can cause bad things to happen. This is the law of natural consequences of behavior. If we don’t steer our moving car, we will crash. If we are lazy and don’t study, we will flunk out of school and not find a good job. If we don’t show up for work, we won’t get paid and we won’t be able to pay the mortgage and the electric and phone bills. If we beat up those we love, we’ll have little intimacy. To a large degree, our well-being depends on our behavior. Learning the law of sowing and reaping will not only prevent much pain but also give great satisfaction.”

He then says, “Anyone raised without the law of cause and effect is destined to battle continually with reality and live a life of chaos. To own our behavior, to admit it, to recognize it, to acknowledge it, in short, to take responsibility for it, is an important aspect of knowing our boundaries. Another important aspect is knowing that others are responsible for their behavior. These two principles can clear up many identity problems. . . We are always better off if we do not follow Adam and Eve’s example of saying, ‘Someone else made me do it!’ If we do that, we will stumble again and again in our own lives.”

It is so easy to play the blame game and not take responsibility, isn't it?  But we want to take responsibility and live a productive life, don't we?

Yes, yes!

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