“Time is an important ingredient for growth, but sometimes we pass through time and get better. . .”

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Changes That Heal (p. 45). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

Henry continues, “. . . at other times we pass through time and do not get better. Why? That’s because of what I call ‘good time’ and ‘bad time.’”

He says, “From our vantage point, time is present experience. The only time we have is whatever we are experiencing at the present moment. Going forward or back in time is impossible. Right this instant is the only place where we can ever live. When we truly live in time, which is where we are now, we are present with our experience. We are present in the ‘here and now.’ We are aware of our experience. If we are not aware of our experience, or are not experiencing some aspect of ourselves, that part is removed from time and is not affected by it.

“Change takes place only in ‘good time.’ Good time is time in which we and our experiences can be affected by grace and truth. If we have removed some aspect of ourselves from time, grace and truth cannot transform it. Whatever aspect of ourselves that we leave outside of experience, that we leave in ‘bad time,’ goes unchanged. Grace and truth cannot affect the part of ourselves we won’t bring into experience.”

He then shares from Scripture, “The parable of the master who entrusted his wealth to three servants illustrates the difference between time working for us and time working against us. Before he went on a trip, the master gathered his servants and distributed a portion of his gold among them. To one, he gave five bags of gold; to another, two bags; and to a third, one bag. After a long time the master returned and discovered that the first servant had made five more bags of gold, the second had gained two more, but the third had buried his money in the ground and had only the one bag to hand over.

“The master rewarded the first two, but to the third he said: ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.’ (Matt. 25:26–27)”

Henry says, “The two successful servants whose bags of gold grew had brought their gold into experience, into time. They had used it. The third servant took his gold away from experience, away from where time could affect it. He hid it in the ground. Therefore, time was not affecting the gold, and time was not making it grow. This is what sometimes happens to us. We take different aspects of our person out of time, that is, out of experience, and they remain exactly as they were when they were buried in ‘bad time.’”

He later says, “It is literally never too late to open up to those who love us and care about our development. Because the aspect of our selves that goes outside of time in childhood gets stored in its chronological state, it is still that same age when it returns. God can use our current relationships to provide the nurturing we didn’t receive as children, the mentoring we missed as school-age kids, or the companionship we needed as teenagers. God has promised that he will take care of us: ‘A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.’ (Ps. 68:5–6)”

And then says, “God can and does redeem the time for us. He provides the experiences we need to develop different aspects of ourselves through his body of believers, the church.”

Let’s not waste the “good time’ that God gives us. Would you see that you are not alone?

Yes, yes!