“I’ve realized that I choose not to spend much time with people who are trying to change me.”

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys (p. 52). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

I haven’t thought about that before. But that is probably true of me and you too.

Mike says, “If they take me on as a project to ‘fix,’ I don’t respond well. But when they simply enter my life and accept me unconditionally, I become a different person because of their influence. Without my realizing it, their acceptance influences me to become like them.

“That’s why it’s important to be intentional about who we hang out with. It’s comfortable to connect with people who are just like us, but we don’t change or grow. To really stretch and develop as a person, we need to intentionally choose close relationships with people who are further ahead in certain areas of life.

“What happens in those relationships? They’re not giving you formal instruction or walking you through a curriculum; they’re just being themselves while you watch them in different life situations. Without even realizing it, you’re learning how to handle those situations in your own life. They model effectiveness for you.”

He goes on, “They’re not forcing you to change; they’re influencing you. You become different by being around them.”

Later he says, “Maybe you had a painful childhood and weren’t given the nurturing you deserved. Today you still feel the bondage of those early defective relationships. When someone finally believed in you, that person probably stands out in your memory like a shaft of sunlight breaking through storm clouds. They may not even know it, but their presence in your life made a difference. They didn’t put together a formal course of instruction. They just came close enough to influence you.

“That carries over into all of our relationships. People are watching us, whether we know it or not. The closer we are, the more they will pick up what they see. How we handle life situations influences how they handle life situations.”

Influence is so very important, isn’t it?

Yes, yes!