A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys (p. 42). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)
Here is the rest of the thought. Mike says, “When we confuse the two, we set ourselves up for frustration.” And that is where so many people are today.
He goes on, “For instance, I can choose the color of the car I purchase, but I can’t control if someone else likes it or not. I can control the choices I make in raising my kids, but I can’t control the choices they make as they move toward adulthood.
“When we see people we care about making bad choices, we want to fix them so they’ll make good choices. But what happens when they don’t?
“It’s unhealthy to be at the mercy of what someone does or doesn’t do. We can’t control the choices and attitudes of others. The only thing we really have control over is our own choices and attitudes. When we take responsibility for our own choices, we gain greater influence in other people’s lives. When we focus on things we can’t do anything about, we lose influence with others. We give away our joy and our sense of self to their weaknesses.”
I know, I know we really like to play the blame game, don’t we?
He goes on, “One city I visit fairly often is about sixty miles from my home. I usually drive there early in the morning to beat traffic, then hang out at the local coffeehouse until it’s time to go to my seminar location.
“At this particular coffee spot, there is a small group of men who meet daily on the patio. Ranging in age from their midsixties and up, they drink their coffee and share opinions about what’s going on in the world and what needs to happen to solve each situation. They talk about war, politics, the economy, and things happening around the world. I’ve seen them there over a number of years, and people sit on the patio just to be entertained by their strong opinions.
“I don’t know what these men do the rest of the day, but it seems like they’ve gotten really good at putting significant emotional energy into things they can’t do anything about—which means they’re not putting that energy into things they can actually change. I’ve often wondered what they might accomplish if they quit talking and focused on making a difference. It wouldn’t have to be something world-changing, just taking action on something where they can have influence. When people do that, their influence begins to grow over time.”
I may have been at that coffee shop but I for sure won’t join that group. I choose to put my energy, my life at making a difference in the areas that I can do something about, like writing a blog every day that helps people with their day and to tie people to books that will make a difference in their lives. So, will you strive to make a real difference with your energy today? Will you?
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