A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys (p. 48). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)
And that is so true?
Mike says, “I say, ‘It’s going to be hot today.’ I grew up in Phoenix, so ‘hot’ means a dry 117 degrees. But if you’re from Atlanta or Anchorage, ‘hot’ takes on an entirely different meaning.
“I’m looking through my lenses in a conversation. I know what I’m thinking (117 degrees), and I listen to you through those lenses, assuming that we’re on the same page. I’m listening to you, but it’s from my point of view.”
He then says, “Here’s the problem: We’re both doing the same thing.
“If both of us are assuming that we understand what the other person means with their words, we’re both going to be wrong. We see our side clearly and wonder, ‘It’s so obvious—why don’t they get it?’”
He goes on, “The solution is to look through each other’s lenses. I need to realize that your perspective is different than mine and try to understand how you see things. That doesn’t mean I have to agree with you; it just means I want to see what you see. If we each take the time to understand where the other is coming from, we lay a foundation for an effective relationship.”
And that is what we want, isn’t it?
Mike also says, “It’s even worse when there’s a third person involved. If I talk to someone about you behind your back, I’m adding their perspective to my own, reinforcing my assumptions about your motives. Without talking to you and trying to understand your view, we move ever further away from a realistic connection.”
And we want to be drawn closer not further away, don’t we?
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