Just Continue That Thought...

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys (p. 55). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) And that can be so true. Mike says, “When a relationship is unhealthy, we often try to rescue it. The closer the relationship, the more we hope it will improve. But if I make it my mission to change you, I’m setting myself up for disappointment. It messes with my emotional set point if you don’t do what I’m expecting, and the emotions follow. Expectations always lead to pain when they’re not met. “A healthier perspective is to come with e xpectancy rather than expectations. With expectancy, I don’t know what’s going to happen. I can be honest about my concerns and acknowledge my desire to have the person change, but I’m not demanding that things have to turn out a certain way. I don’t know how things will turn out.” He then says, “Ins...

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys (p. 53). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Mike continues the thought, “They’re a striking flower that grows in spheres of color, usually, shades of pink or white. They can also be a beautiful shade of blue—but not naturally. “Diane wanted blue flowers. She had two alternatives for trying to make that happen: “1. She could use force. She could grab the flower around the stem and say, ‘Look, if you don’t bloom with blue flowers, you’re going to find yourself on the rough side of the compost bin.’ “2. She could use influence. If she applies a carefully measured amount of aluminum sulfate to the soil, the blooms will usually be blue. Mike goes on, “It’s true with any type of gardening. We can’t force things to grow, but we can influence their growth with water, nutrients, cultivation, an...

A thought by Mike Bechtle from his book, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys (p. 52). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) I haven’t thought about that before. But that is probably true of me and you too. Mike says, “If they take me on as a project to ‘fix,’ I don’t respond well. But when they simply enter my life and accept me unconditionally, I become a different person because of their influence. Without my realizing it, their acceptance influences me to become like them. “That’s why it’s important to be intentional about who we hang out with. It’s comfortable to connect with people who are just like us, but we don’t change or grow. To really stretch and develop as a person, we need to intentionally choose close relationships with people who are further ahead in certain areas of life. “What happens in those relationships? They’re not giving you formal instruction or...