A thought by David Roberts from his book, Healing Conversation (p. 20). Moran James Publishing. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.)
And that is so true.
"I have longings for our culture, our politics, our world, our relationships, my world, and my life. Sometimes it’s hard to talk about longings because it may imply that we’re unhappy. We want so badly for things to be good. We want to be strong, to be okay."
He goes on, "I long for unity, collaboration, resolution and combined efforts leading to combined celebrations. But everywhere I look I see polarized views pulling us apart. I see extreme fanaticism creating endless wars abroad and here. The voices of much of our culture are mean, unfair, and ill-mannered and I’m sick of hearing them. What also sickens me is that people seem to love to take extreme positions and celebrate them and that’s divisive. Extremes often create polarization that ends in disharmony, anger and even intense fighting."
He continues, "In my experience, very few people are excited about the more mundane processes of life. There are no shows on TV, for example, where we watch someone learning to ride a bike; working through the process of finding balance, gathering momentum, and gaining stability. A majority of people will watch all day as people who have mastered a bicycle or skateboard or motorcycle show off death-defying skills that stagger our imaginations. People love extreme sports.
"And, we like celebrating results much more than process. That tendency shows up in a lot of places, but let’s linger with sports for a minute. We are not very interested in the regular season—it has become simply a prelude to the playoffs. We tune in for the championships and the upsets. The big crowds are drawn to the final game where the clear winner is crowned. The neglect of process and the devotion to winners seem to sharply divide the competitors into the very broad categories of winners and losers. It isn’t logical, but we rarely have warm thoughts for second place. These all or nothing celebrations often leave fans feeling that it is less painful to be eliminated early than to be eliminated at the end."
He later says, "Too many people feel empty and alone. Why? So many of our conversations have devolved into trivial interactions, and these are not significant, relevant, engaging, life-building, energizing and seldom ever fun. It is too dangerous to talk when the only acceptable outcome is to name the winner and the loser. Few of us can even remember the last time we had a sincere, life-giving conversation that actually offered us an opportunity to learn and grow. What is left in us is a profound sense of longing. It is a longing to know and be known at the deepest, most true level, and that requires vulnerability. We long to turn together."
And that is so true, isn't it?
Yes, yes!
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