"We see examples of poor communication all too often in life . . ."

A thought by David Roberts from his book, Healing Conversation (p. 54). Moran James Publishing. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.)

He continues this thought, "We see examples of poor communication all too often in life, in books and in movies and we scoff and say the word 'dysfunctional' to allude to that situation. Why don’t we connect with ease, spontaneity and deep joy with each other? We’ve touched on some barriers to great conversations in previous chapters. The right/wrong trap, extremism in our culture, hostile individuals, and hiding within a tribe or behind a mask are some of these. Our personal brokenness and issues also get in the way.

"Our fears, insecurities, and judgmental attitudes, adopting the habit of thinking in extremes or in generalities—all these things keep us apart. So, we do what we know, which is speak out of our own needs. That naturally causes us to push our own agendas which sabotages safe communication and banishes intimacy. We subtly send the message that the other person is wrong and that their opinion or thoughts don’t matter."

He goes on, "If we experience too many interactions where our perspectives are pitted against another person’s perspectives, we shut down, retreat, and don’t try again. We walk away feeling empty and alone. This is especially true when the other person is self-absorbed and dramatizing the negativity of their issues instead of talking through them. Also, it is too dangerous to talk in those instances when the only acceptable outcome is to name the winner and the loser.

"So, how do we overcome this and begin to engage in significant, relevant, engaging, life-building, energizing, fun conversations? After all, it takes at least two, and it’s a process, not a singular, shining moment. (Though in healing conversations, you can expect several shining moments.)"

He then says, "First, one needs to answer these questions. Do I really want this? Do I truly want to be seen, heard, known, and exposed at my deepest levels? Do I want to see into someone else’s world? Do I want to experience their heart and soul up close and personal? Am I willing to give and not just receive?

"My heart pounds a resounding 'yes!' Why don’t we unsettled people stand up and start a revolution where we celebrate the searching, longing and unsettledness of all the people in the world who may feel they don’t fit in? The idea that we would raise up a group of people who are valued precisely because they are deeply committed to healthy processes would be a major shift in our cultural leanings. What if we were more willing to see a number of perspectives and committed to have fewer fixed answers? Not knowing is necessary to knowing. If we don’t know that we don’t know then how will we ever actually know? We could celebrate those who don’t thrive on conflict, but who seek greater knowing. We could begin to listen to those who thrive on resolution, who wish to separate out from tribal wars where they had been too easily shouted down, or drowned out. We could invite our loved ones to find their voices. And, each of us could reverently seek to understand the power of words."

That is such a good start, isn't it? Yes, yes!

“God does big things with small deeds.”

A thought by Max Lucado (2011-05-02) from his book, Cure for the Common Life (p. 115). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) I don’t know how you feel about what you are doing and how it can make a difference. You may feel that it is so small and not even worth the effort. Max says, “Begin. Just begin! What seems small to you might be huge to someone else. Just ask Bohn Fawkes. During World War II, he piloted a B-17. On one mission he sustained flak from Nazi antiaircraft guns. Even though his gas tanks were hit, the plane did not explode, and Fawkes was able to land the plane. “On the morning following the raid, Fawkes asked his crew chief for the German shell. He wanted to keep a souvenir of his incredible good fortune. The crew chief explained that not just one but eleven shells had been found in the gas tanks, none of which had exploded. “Technicians opened the missiles and found them void of explosive cha...

“There’s a big difference between building a castle and building a kingdom.”

A thought by Bob Goff from his book, Everybody, Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People ( p. 41). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Have you ever built a sand castle or maybe a Lego castle? Have you? Bob says, “We actually build castles all the time, out of our jobs and our families and the things we’ve purchased. Sometimes we even make them out of each other. Some of these castles are impressive too. Lots of people come to admire what we’ve built over the course of our lives and tell us what great castles we have. But Jesus told His friends we weren’t supposed to spend our lives building castles. He said He wanted us to build a kingdom, and there’s a big difference between building a castle and building a kingdom.” Bob goes on, “You see, castles have moats to keep creepy people out, but kingdoms have bridges to let everyone in. Castles have dungeons for people who ha...

"Lie 2: The more you worry about it, the better your odds of avoiding it."

A thought by Louie Giglio in his book, Winning the War on Worry (p. 5). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Here is another lie that the Enemy uses with us. And Louie says, "This is a tricky lie. Yes, we often have cause for concern and preparation. But the Enemy wants you to believe that if you worry or fret over a certain outcome long enough, you can keep something bad from happening." But this is so important to realize. He says, "The reality is worrying has never once prevented something negative from happening. Planning might. Prayer has. But worry never will." He continues, "The Enemy tells you that by worrying about a situation (or every situation) you can make your tomorrow better. Really, worry just robs you of today. Jesus implored us: 'I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body mor...

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