“Your relationships will never be any healthier than you.”

A thought by Andy Stanley (2015-01-06) from his book, The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating(p. 57). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

Andy puts it another way, “Relationships are never stronger than the weakest link. Granted, link is a bit harsh. But I think you know what I mean. The stronger, more mature, more secure person in a relationship is always forced to make up for, defer to, or fill in the gaps created by the weaker person.”

He then says, “If you’re the weak link, your relationship will never be any healthier than you. If your partner is the weak link, the relationship will never be healthier than your partner. That’s why I say, the relationship won’t get any better than you. So, the better you become, the happier everybody will be. And if you determine to wait until you find someone who is committed to becoming a better version of him- or herself, well, everybody wins.”

But I see their potential and I’m going to change them. No you’re not. They need to change themselves and if they don’t want to change then your relationship will only be as healthy as they are right now. So be careful. As I’ve told so many people in this area of relationships, don’t settle, don’t settle. Become the person you need to be and then look for a person is also striving to become the person they need to do.

As Andy says, “Couples generally don’t have relationship problems. They have problems they bring to the relationship. The better you that you bring, the fewer problems you bring with you.”

So how healthy are you becoming?

Comments

“There’s a big difference between building a castle and building a kingdom.”

A thought by Bob Goff from his book, Everybody, Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People ( p. 41). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Have you ever built a sand castle or maybe a Lego castle? Have you? Bob says, “We actually build castles all the time, out of our jobs and our families and the things we’ve purchased. Sometimes we even make them out of each other. Some of these castles are impressive too. Lots of people come to admire what we’ve built over the course of our lives and tell us what great castles we have. But Jesus told His friends we weren’t supposed to spend our lives building castles. He said He wanted us to build a kingdom, and there’s a big difference between building a castle and building a kingdom.” Bob goes on, “You see, castles have moats to keep creepy people out, but kingdoms have bridges to let everyone in. Castles have dungeons for people who ha...

“When you understand that life is a test, you realize that nothing is insignificant in your life.”

A thought by Rick Warren, (2012-10-23) from his book, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? (Purpose Driven Life, The) (p. 57). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. To realize that from God’s perspective life is a test goes a long way in determining how you handle your life. It is important to see that in testing your character is both developed and revealed. Rick goes on to say that “even the smallest incident has significance for your character development. Every day is an important day, and every second is a growth opportunity to deepen your character, to demonstrate love, or to depend on God.” So there is a God purpose behind each situation in your life. Even the bad ones are there to strengthen you and develop you. You see those bad situations are really good ones because they are there for your good. I start each day with a reminder that God is good. Not every situation that is going to come in my day is good but because G...

“Sometimes we think we’re stuck simply because things are hard.”

A thought by Matt Perman, from his book, How to Get Unstuck (p. 52). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the That is a possible trap for many, isn’t it? Matt says, “But if you’re continuing to make progress and aren’t experiencing huge snags, you’re not stuck. Rather, you’re in a dip. “A dip is a temporary hard slog that you will get through if you keep pushing and don’t give up. And pushing through the hard slog is actually the fastest route to the destination. In these cases, you will be especially tempted to bail. Be discerning and able to identify that you’re in a legitimate dip and you’re not a failure.” Matt says another trap to be careful of, “Some people are stuck and don’t know it.” He goes on, “Everything can be going your way, going smoothly, and going quickly. Everything feels and seems wonderful. Yet... you are still headed toward a dead end, a form of getting stuck, if you are leaving God out of t...

Just Continue That Thought...

Search This Blog