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“Financial pressure can suck the romance right out of a relationship.”

A thought by Andy Stanley (2015-01-06) from his book, The New Rules for Love, Sex andDating (p. 176). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

Have you found that true?  I’m sure that many of you have. The truth is it can suck out all of the enjoyment of life.   Andy says, “The number one source of conflict among couples is money.”  It is number one.

He then says, “The primary source of financial pressure is debt. Dumb debt. Credit card debt. Car leases… If you have debt, chances are you have other bad financial habits.”

Make a commitment to stop and look at what it is that is causing you to not get this under control.  I love the prayer of the Psalmist who says, “Search me oh God and know my thoughts.”  Why do you have to have all of the stuff?  Now there can be good reasons for it but if it causes relational problems then there is a problem.  Take it to God and then take it to your spouse.  Prioritize and then let some things go

Andy also says, “You’ll discover that lowering your standard of living will increase your quality of life. That’s a lesson that will serve you well the rest of your life.” 

When I retired we were living in an over 3,000 square foot home.  Now as a church planter we used that home in many different ways of ministry but now we don’t need a home that size.  We live in a two bedroom 950 square foot apartment.  And we are very happy.  We also just have one car.  I take my wife to work.  We don’t need two cars.  Now that is us.  In a few years Margaret will be retiring and we will need to downsize some more.  The important thing is us not our stuff. 

What about you? Don’t let stuff get in the way of your relationships.    

Now if stuff is more important to you then don’t get into any relationships.  And if you do please be honest about your problem.  I like how Andy says it, “If you’re thinking, Andy, the person I’m looking for is a person who has the capacity to bail me out financially, make sure to tell ’em up-front. First date. Say, ‘Look, I’ve got about nine grand in credit card debt. I’m looking for someone who’s willing to pay that off for me. I don’t plan to change my spending habits; I’m looking for someone to support my bad spending habits.’ Far-fetched? Let me ask you this. If it’s okay for you to sneak your bad financial habits into a relationship, are you okay with him or her sneaking bad habits in as well? Or would you prefer to know up-front what you’re dealing with? If you want to marry rich, knock yourself out. But in the meantime, get out of debt.”

So how does this help you today?


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  1. UnknownApril 25, 2015 at 10:17 PM

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