“Was what happened truly a failure, or did I just fall short?”

A thought by John C. Maxwell (2000-03-08) from his book, Failing Forward: How to Makethe Most of Your Mistakes (p. 142). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

In my reading, I come upon so many good thoughts that it is hard to sometimes choose what to highlight.  This Monday morning was one of those times.  But this one is the first one that caught my attention.  Maybe this thought is for you.

John says, “You need to determine if what happened was really a failure. What you think is your fault may have been an attempt to fulfill unrealistic expectations. It doesn't matter whether you place them on yourself or someone else does; if a goal is unrealistic and you miss it, that is not a failure.”

We are so quick to want to play the blame game even if it is with ourselves.  Now it is important to learn from our mistakes but a realistic evaluation is very important.  And many times unrealistic expectations can be the problem.  In other words too high expectations can bring about frustrations.

Then John says, “To give you a better perspective on this, let me tell you a story that President Reagan told before he left office. It's about Three Musketeers author Alexandre Dumas. The novelist and a friend had a heated argument, and one challenged the other to a duel. Both Dumas and his friend were expert marksmen, and they feared that if they proceeded with the duel, both would die. So they decided to draw straws to determine which of them would shoot himself. Dumas picked the short straw. With a sigh, he picked up his pistol, walked into the library, and closed the door, leaving behind him a group of worried friends. After a few moments, the loud report of a pistol shot echoed from the library. His friends immediately charged into the room, and there stood Dumas with the pistol still smoking in his hand. ‘An amazing thing just happened,’ said Dumas. ‘I missed.’”

I like what John then says, “As you examine your problems, try to be like Dumas: Don't allow an unrealistic expectation to kill you.”

I needed this thought too many times on Monday after a Sunday when things weren’t up to my too high expectations where I was feeling like a failure as a Pastor.  Maybe that is where you are today.  Maybe you need to realize that you aren’t a failure.  Maybe you need to lower your expectations a little bit.

So how are you doing today?