A thought by Andy Stanley (2015-01-06) from his
book, The New Rules for Love, Sex andDating (p. 97). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to
Amazon.com to buy the book.)
Have you ever stopped
to think about that? Andy says, “What
come naturally are passion, lust, chemistry, and that ‘can’t wait to get you
alone’ feeling. But over time, all of that is eventually squashed by our
unbridled, selfish, self-preserving natures.”
You see real love is
un-natural. The apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:3-8 says, “Love is patient,
love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not
dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no
record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It
always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never
fails.” Andy says, “Do any of these
traits come naturally? Granted, we know how to turn them all on when we’re winning
and wooing. But love does not sustain itself naturally.”
He continues, “The
brand of love Paul describes is a nonnegotiable for those desiring to sustain
the chemistry and romance that make the early days of a relationship so
exhilarating. Romance is sustained by patience, kindness, humility, and a short
memory. While none of those things come naturally, every one of them is
necessary. Otherwise our wounds, insecurities, and parental implants will
become the driving forces and send the relationship in a bad direction. When that
happens, good-bye, chemistry. Good-bye, romance. Hello, I guess I just haven’t
met the right person. It’s that kind of thinking that creates the myth. It’s a
myth to think that once you meet the right person, you will become a different
person. The love of your life should bring out the best in you. But only you
can prevent forest fires. Sorry. Only you can prevent your impatience,
unkindness, pride, anger, and record keeping from undermining your
relationship.”
So we are to do as
Paul also said in 1 Corinthians 13:11, “When I was a child, I talked like a
child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I
put the ways of childhood behind me.”
So are you ready to
put away you adolescent view of love and start working at “becoming the person
the person you’re looking for is looking for?”
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