“You rarely make eye contact with drivers moving in the opposite direction.”

A thought by Andy Stanley (2015-01-06) from his book, The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating(p. 52). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

Here is the point. Andy is dealing here with the situation that if we are looking for the right person for our lives then we need to be the right person for their lives. In other words Andy asks, “Are you the person the person you’re looking for is looking for?”

You have a list in your mind of what the person who is the right person that you eventually want to be THE person in your life looks like. So are you making choices in being the kind of person that person would choose?

He goes on, “If you choose to prepare yourself relationally, you will gravitate toward environments that aid you in that pursuit. In the same way, it will bring you into contact with those who share your priorities. When people complain that ‘nobody’ thinks this way, what they’re really saying is, ‘The people I work with, live with, and socialize with don’t think this way.’ Which means they may need to reevaluate the folks with whom they work, live, and socialize. Perhaps you do as well. But before you shut me off too quickly, remember this: you rarely make eye contact with drivers moving in the opposite direction... We see what we’re looking for. We see whom we’re looking for as well. Truth is, there are plenty of single people who are preparing to make relational commitments they can keep. But until your life is moving in that direction, you may never make eye contact. You may never notice them. But I assure you, they’re out there.”

That is a very good thought.

He also says, “Now, is it just me, or is there something a bit hypocritical about wanting something in someone else that you’ve not been willing to develop in yourself? …Bottom line, it’s not enough to look; you must become. You must become intentional about becoming the person the person you’re looking for is looking for.”

So who are you becoming?

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