A thought by Max Lucado from his book, How Happiness Happens (p. 19). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book
title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)
And we all want and need to be encouraged and encouragers, don’t
we?
Max says, “Their efforts pay high
dividends. Decades of marriage research led Dr. John Gottman to identify an
interesting characteristic of happy couples. Healthy homes enjoy a
positive-to-negative ratio of five to one. In other words, for every negative
comment or criticism, there are five acts or words of encouragement.1
“Similar results were found among
business teams. One study of effective leadership styles revealed that
high-performing teams experienced a positive-to-negative ratio of nearly six
positive comments for every negative one. Low-performing teams, conversely, had
an average of three negative comments for every positive one.”2
He goes on, “Intentional encouragement
has affected my life. Three years into my role as senior minister of our
church, a former senior minister returned, not only to live in our city but
also to serve on our staff. Charles Prince was thirty years my senior, Harvard
educated, and a member of the Mensa society. I was in my mid-thirties, a rookie,
and a charter member of the Dense society. The relationship could have been
awkward and intimidating, but Charles preempted any stress with a visit to my
office, during which he said, ‘There will be no tension in our relationship.
I’m going to be your biggest cheerleader.’
“He was! For twenty-five years, right
until the day he died, I could count on a post sermon pat on the back. ‘You’re
getting better every week!’ I found that hard to believe, but I always
appreciated it.
Max goes on, “Such encouragement has
a Michelangelo impact on people. The sculptor saw the figure of David within
the marble and carved it out. The encourager sees your best self and calls it
out, not with a chisel, but with words of affirmation.”
He then said, “Dr. Barbara
Fredrickson, author of Positivity and a social psychologist in North Carolina,
asserts that positive emotions increase our awareness, allowing us to see the
bigger picture and expand our peripheral vision. By opening up the mind,
positive emotions help us strengthen our relationships and even improve our
physical health because they increase our energy. In contrast, neutral states
tend to limit our mind-sets, and negative emotions contract our mindsets even
more so.”5
We all need it and we all need to give
it, don’t we?
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