“Anger is a signal that there is a problem to be solved.”

A thought by John Townsend from his book, Leading From Your Gut (p. 90). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

So we need to look at solving the problem, don’t we?

John says, “Anger is a call to address conflict. When we need to face down an obstacle or right a wrong, our energy level rises and we prepare to confront or combat the situation in some way. Anger is a signal that there is a problem to be solved. It urges us to fix something that needs to be fixed. Again, anger can be a response to an external event or to an internal experience, but it must be addressed and dealt with. What makes us angry is not always a bad or difficult person, but at least a bad or difficult situation we want to see changed. We don’t like to see people we care about getting hurt. Or diligently planned projects go south. Or our efforts to reach out to someone result in us being blamed or attacked. Such situations often provoke an angry response. This emotion can last a few seconds, or it can run for days and weeks. But the idea is that your anger is urging you to deal with a problem.”

He goes on, “There are many war stories about the raging executive who yells, intimidates people, and slams his fist on the desk. He is certainly engaged in battle, but most of the time, his anger is not solving anything. People sometimes talk about how good it is to vent anger. Expressing anger in appropriate ways that don’t alienate people is a healthy thing. But the act of venting, in and of itself, is overrated. A person with a chronic anger problem can vent all day and then get up the next morning and do it again. He has something going on inside that he needs to deal with, and it’s going to require ‘more than counting to ten,’ as a colleague of mine, Kay Yerkovich, once said.”

He later says, “Anger is a signal to take action, but it’s important to acknowledge that there may be times when there is nothing we can do to fix the problem. Anger may have helped us to work hard to resolve things, but some matters, no matter how hard we try, don’t always go how we want. We can’t solve every problem and we can’t win 100 percent of the time. I believe we can win a great deal of the time, but anyone who says we can bat a thousand doesn’t live in the real world.”

John continues, “In these cases, your anger may have done its job and run its course. When you have done everything you know to do, been as creative as possible, received lots of sound advice, gone the third mile, persisted, and prayed, then it may be time to move past anger and problem-solving. Otherwise, the anger only serves to keep you frustrated and beating your head against the wall.”

But sometimes a leader just can't get over it. John says, “He is stuck in what psychologists call a protest stance. He is still arguing his side in his mind and unable to get past it.”

John says, “His anger is driving him to continue fighting, but it is not a wise use of his anger. Instead, it may be time for him to change, adapt, and go in another direction.”

And we want to be wise in our use of our anger, don’t we?  

Yes, yes!