“We live in a culture of blame.”

A thought by Henry Cloud and John Townsend from their book, It's Not My Fault. Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

That is the truth, isn’t it?

They say, “People will blame anyone or anything for their misery sooner than take the responsibility to own it and make it better. Blame has become institutionalized in our courts, legislatures, and schools; it pervades our psychology and medical thought and even our moral and spiritual lives. The result? More people with more misery, but always with someone or something else to blame it on.

“While blame may ease some of the anxiety, guilt, fear, or sense of responsibility, it does nothing to solve the problems. As long as we think, feel, or act as if there is nothing we can do about whatever we struggle with, we will remain stuck.

“You probably know or have known people who always have an excuse, never taking ownership for what they could do to make their situation better. If you know such a person, then you know the frustration of trying to help someone who will not take responsibility. As psychologists, we have seen it a thousand times. Often, within the first five minutes of talking with someone, we can tell that solving his or her problem is going to be a long, uphill battle. Not because the particular problem itself is unsolvable or the condition untreatable, but because the most important factor required for overcoming it is missing: the ability to take responsibility for one’s own life.

“On the other hand, when someone does have that one ingredient— the ability to take responsibility—we have more than just a vague hope for him or her. We know that this person will get better. It borders on absolute certainty.

“And that is what we believe about you as well. If you are willing to do what all the winners in the world do in that area of your life that seems stuck, then your future can be different. Taking responsibility in this way does not at all imply that your situation is your fault or that you caused it. It only means that since you find yourself in it, you are willing to put your arms around it and take ownership to make it better.”

I want to be that kind of person, don’t you?

Yes, yes!