A thought by H. Norman Wright DMin. from his book, A Better Way to Think: Using Positive Thoughts to Change Your Life (p.28). Baker Publishing Group (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)
As Norman says, “We don’t intentionally think them. We might even rather not think them.” They are automatic.
He goes on, “They can be positive or negative. But they jump into our consciousness without any planning or conscious prompting. And they often carry a specific message.
“For example, a young woman who’s afraid of being rejected by men frequently tells herself, after meeting an interesting young man: He isn’t interested in me. I’m not attractive enough.
“By repeating this thought to herself over and over, she reinforces her belief in it—whether it’s true or not. She doesn’t intend to think it. It just pops into her mind when she considers her romantic possibilities. It has become automatic.
“Often, an automatic thought surfaces, not in complete form, but in a shorthand manner. It may take the form of a visual image or just a few words, such as a brief memory or a series of disconnected words, that brings to mind an entire group of painful memories, fears, or self-degrading comments.
“Though these thoughts appear spontaneously, we tend to think of them as true. The thought is there, we rationalize. Why shouldn’t it be true?
“But when we fail to test toxic thoughts, comparing them to what we know is true, they can begin to occur more frequently—and we believe them more and more.”
He continues, “Automatic thoughts often include the words must, should, or ought. These are ‘torture words,’ because they elevate guilt and lower self-esteem.
Norman says, “Automatic thoughts ‘awfulize’ situations. These thoughts expect the worst, see the danger behind every bush, and create intense anxiety—and they often appear somewhat reasonable.
“They can color our attitude for days. And because they just pop in, they may be camouflaged amid other thoughts. It’s hard to put a leash on them, as they tend to come and go. Have you ever tried to put a leash on a dog that’s moving around? It just doesn’t happen.
“Automatic thoughts are learned. We listen to others and what they say about us, and we believe the statements. And what’s more, we tend to become what we believe.”
Automatic thoughts can really affect us, but the key is they are learned, and they can be unlearned. So let's do all we can to reinforce the positive thoughts and counteract and unlearn the negative ones, the ones that are not true. And that is what we want to do and must do, isn’t it?
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