A thought by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend from their book, It's Not My Fault. (pg. 54) Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)
Now, why is that important?
The guys say, “No problem was ever solved, no goal ever reached without looking at the situation squarely with no editing or reframing.”
They go on, “Don’t be afraid to say, I need to know what is true, not what I hope is true. That is your sure path. Look for raw, unvarnished reality, not the prepackaged, politically acceptable type.
“Suppose you had extensive diagnostic testing, and the tests showed clearly that you need heart bypass surgery. That’s a big deal. You see your doctor for his recommendation, and he says, ‘The surgery route just seems so serious and harsh. Why don’t you take a couple of aspirin and get a good night’s sleep instead?’ The good doctor is trying to save you from discomfort. The simple prescription he offers is certainly a very pleasant alternative to surgery, but there are two major problems with it: It wouldn’t address the true reality. And it wouldn’t get you the outcome you wanted.
“Remember that accepting reality is like a reset button for rebooting your computer. It gives you a fresh start. When facing any problem or goal, always ask yourself, What is real and true here? What is my thinking missing that I need to know?
“On the other hand, suppose you struggle with the negative I can’t or I’ve tried everything thinking. You often find yourself unable to feel the courage to make your moves. The appeal to reality applies here as well. Commit yourself to seeing the real situation for what it is, including what you can do about it. Develop the habit of thinking along lines similar to the following: • I’ll talk to someone and brainstorm to see if I’ve looked at every angle. • Maybe I’ve given too much power to another person in my life, and I need to take it back. • So what if I try this and screw up? Derek Jeter (when he played got) out 70 percent of the time and he (did) okay. The reality is that failure doesn’t end everything. • The problem may not be that I can’t; it may be that I won’t, for some reason. I need to find out which it is. • If I keep waiting for someone or something to change, I may be waiting a long time. • Before I give up, I will make a good plan and stick to it longer than I ever have before.”
The guys then say, “Reality will never fail you. It is how God sees everything, and he uses reality to accomplish his purposes. In fact, reality and truth are part of his own makeup. He is ‘full of unfailing love and truth’ (Psalm 86:15 NLT). Seek reality and you will find God there, helping your thoughts conform to the truth.”
So, do you need to know what is true, not what you hope is true?
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