Skip to main content

“Diversion gets our attention off the fact that we have responsibility.”

A thought by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend from their book, It's Not My Fault. (pg. 25) Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

Diversion can be a positive thing in some insistences but not here.

The guys say, “It diverts us from having to do whatever we could to make the situation better. Making the situation better may involve a lot of work, pain, or change on our part. That is a big reason why more people do not do it. It’s easier to divert attention from their responsibility by blaming. It is far easier to say, ‘The economy is bad, and there are no jobs,’ than to get a degree in another field or to knock on a few hundred business doors.

“It is far easier to say that one is unhappy because his or her significant other is not very relational than to learn new patterns of relating that could repair the relationship. It is far easier to give in to one more hamburger ad than to attend a few Weight Watchers meetings. Blame is a sort of comfort food for the soul. It diverts us from the effort of owning responsibility.”

They continue, “The problem is that like any other ‘comfort food,’ diversion by blaming does not do much for you in the end. Eat a few gallons of ice cream and you are no healthier than when you began. Indulge in a few gallons of blame and you are no closer to a solution than when you began. Blame is the worst of diversions. Not only does blame divert us from our responsibility, it diverts us from the real issue at hand: what we are losing by not taking ownership of the problem. In the end, solving the problem is what matters.”

They go on, “So change your focus. Instead of focusing on what is causing your misery, try something new: focus on your misery. Focus on the result of what you are doing. Focus on what your pattern and your blame are costing you. If you do that, the blame begins to fade into the background, as it has no meaning. If you look at the result, then the ‘why’ is not important. What is important is the ‘what.’ Why the problem is there ultimately means nothing. Solving the problem means everything. So, McDonald’s or some other fast food is the why you are eating. The what is that you are overweight, and solving that problem is the only thing that matters. Blame only diverts us from the real issue, and that is the result we are getting from our pattern of behavior. When we see that, we will be motivated to change the result by doing something different.”

So, let’s change from focusing on the why to focusing on the what.  Will you change the result by doing something different?  Will you?

Yes, yes!
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

“Hurry and love are incompatible.”

A thought by John Mark Comer from his book, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry (p. 23). The Crown Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Wow, pretty strong thought isn’t it? John says, “All my worst moments as a father, a husband, and a pastor, even as a human being, are when I’m in a hurry—late for an appointment, behind on my unrealistic to-do list, trying to cram too much into my day. I ooze anger, tension, a critical nagging—the antitheses of love. If you don’t believe me, next time you’re trying to get your type B wife and three young, easily distracted children out of the house and you’re running late (a subject on which I have a wealth of experience), just pay attention to how you relate to them. Does it look and feel like love? Or is it far more in the vein of agitation, anger, a biting comment, a rough glare? Hurry and love are oil and water: they simply do not mix.” He goes on, “Hence, in the apostle P...
Post a Comment
Read more

"Lie 2: The more you worry about it, the better your odds of avoiding it."

A thought by Louie Giglio in his book,   Winning the War on Worry    (p. 5). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Here is another lie that the Enemy uses with us. And Louie says, "This is a tricky lie. Yes, we often have cause for concern and preparation. But the Enemy wants you to believe that if you worry or fret over a certain outcome long enough, you can keep something bad from happening." But this is so important to realize. He says, "The reality is worrying has never once prevented something negative from happening. Planning might. Prayer has. But worry never will." He continues, "The Enemy tells you that by worrying about a situation (or every situation) you can make your tomorrow better. Really, worry just robs you of today. Jesus implored us: 'I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body mor...
Post a Comment
Read more

“The gospel is good news, not good advice.”

A thought by Timothy Keller (2016-10-25) from his book, Hidden Christmas: The Surprising Truth Behind the Birth of Christ (p. 21). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) I’m glad you stopped to catch a glimpse of what this thought really means. Tim says, “Advice is counsel about what you must do. News is a report about what has already been done. Advice urges you to make something happen. News urges you to recognize something that has already happened and to respond to it. Advice says it is all up to you to act. News says someone else has acted.” He then gives an illustration, “Let’s say there is an invading army coming toward a town. What that town needs is military advisers; it needs advice. Someone should explain that the earthworks and trenches should go over there, the marksmen go up there, and the tanks must go down there.”   That’s advice He goes on, “However, if a great king has intercepted and ...
Post a Comment
Read more