“Diversion gets our attention off the fact that we have responsibility.”

A thought by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend from their book, It's Not My Fault. (pg. 25) Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

Diversion can be a positive thing in some insistences but not here.

The guys say, “It diverts us from having to do whatever we could to make the situation better. Making the situation better may involve a lot of work, pain, or change on our part. That is a big reason why more people do not do it. It’s easier to divert attention from their responsibility by blaming. It is far easier to say, ‘The economy is bad, and there are no jobs,’ than to get a degree in another field or to knock on a few hundred business doors.

“It is far easier to say that one is unhappy because his or her significant other is not very relational than to learn new patterns of relating that could repair the relationship. It is far easier to give in to one more hamburger ad than to attend a few Weight Watchers meetings. Blame is a sort of comfort food for the soul. It diverts us from the effort of owning responsibility.”

They continue, “The problem is that like any other ‘comfort food,’ diversion by blaming does not do much for you in the end. Eat a few gallons of ice cream and you are no healthier than when you began. Indulge in a few gallons of blame and you are no closer to a solution than when you began. Blame is the worst of diversions. Not only does blame divert us from our responsibility, it diverts us from the real issue at hand: what we are losing by not taking ownership of the problem. In the end, solving the problem is what matters.”

They go on, “So change your focus. Instead of focusing on what is causing your misery, try something new: focus on your misery. Focus on the result of what you are doing. Focus on what your pattern and your blame are costing you. If you do that, the blame begins to fade into the background, as it has no meaning. If you look at the result, then the ‘why’ is not important. What is important is the ‘what.’ Why the problem is there ultimately means nothing. Solving the problem means everything. So, McDonald’s or some other fast food is the why you are eating. The what is that you are overweight, and solving that problem is the only thing that matters. Blame only diverts us from the real issue, and that is the result we are getting from our pattern of behavior. When we see that, we will be motivated to change the result by doing something different.”

So, let’s change from focusing on the why to focusing on the what.  Will you change the result by doing something different?  Will you?

Yes, yes!