"Without meaning to, I can get obsessed with schedules and plans."

A thought by Christine Cane, from her book, How Did I Get Here? (p. 26). Thomas Nelson, Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.)

Many of us have the problem of control.

Christine says, "I don’t purpose to be this way, but I’ve always been the kind of person who is more likely to take matters into my own hands than to trust God. It shows up in my life when I focus too much on people acting in predictable ways, on liking things done a certain way and everything being in its place. Without meaning to, I can get obsessed with schedules and plans. I guess you could say, without Jesus, I can be a bit of a control freak, but to be honest, it’s not entirely without reason. After years of doing the hard work of learning to trust God through every unknown—to embrace the pain of healing and recovery time and time again—I have come to understand that some of my control tendencies have their origin in coping mechanisms, ones I developed having come from a background of sexual abuse."

She goes on, "Still, God invites me to trust him. What about you? Do you tend to start controlling when you’d really rather be trusting God? It can creep into our lives in so many subtle ways. For example, did you know that caring too much about what people think of us can be a sign of control? As much as we’d like to, we can’t control what people think of us, and yet we still try. There have been times when I have cared too much about what people thought, and I’ve had to let it all go and trust God more."

She continues, "Another way we can start controlling is when we shift our trust from God to leaning into our own abilities, talents, or gifts. God has generously graced each one of us with such attributes to serve him and to serve others, but it’s so like us to put our trust in those attributes and then expect the kind of results that only God can give. Control can be so sneaky. How many times have we found ourselves disappointed, disillusioned, or heartbroken because something didn’t turn out the way we expected? All because we thought, on some level, that we could control every aspect of a project or a dream, as well as the outcome. No doubt, there are times when we have to give up what we imagine something should look like and trade it for God’s bigger picture—to trust that while we might know a certain direction is God’s will, how all the details play out are really up to him.

"I have found that we can be working on a team, doing our best to work together as a team, and still be trying to control—like when we forget to foster cooperation and begin to demand compliance. We can start controlling in our friendships and stirring up drama, but when we do, we quit being the kind of safe place we want to be. What about in our parenting? It’s so important to love our children unconditionally and freely express that love to them—without valuing what they do over who they are. Still, it’s easy to slip into pressuring them to perform. Even in our marriages, we can start controlling and manipulating—by giving the silent treatment or dishing out passive-aggressive comments, attempting to guilt-trip our spouse into doing something for us. No matter which of our relationships we’re more likely to try and control, it never works."

She later says, "At some point, we have to surrender our attempts to control everything and everyone and learn how to place all our trust in God. Still, I understand there are times when it’s easier to make like Carrie Underwood and sing 'Jesus, Take the Wheel' instead of really letting go and giving him full control. I’m so grateful God never gives up on us. No matter how many times we take matters into our own hands."

That is a great thing to be grateful for, isn't? Yes, yes! #continuethought