“Once we get fixated on the happiness option, we assign our brains the task of coming up with a list of very convincing reasons to support our choice.”

A thought by Andy Stanley (2009-03-31) in his book, The Principle of the Path: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be (p. 61). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

Have you noticed that?  You set your heart on getting something that you know will make you happy but it really isn’t a good thing to have; maybe it is a girl or a guy that doesn’t hold your same values.  But you want it or you have fallen for them so your mind sets into gear to come up with a set of reasons why it is a good thing when it really isn’t.

Your will, your heart is a powerful thing so it is very important to have it set in the right direction.  Oh your mind is also important but most of the time it just goes along for the ride.

For example:  In today’s USA Today there was a survey that said that the number one reason people divorce is growing apart and the number two is unable to talk together.  Now when your heart says there needs to be a change in your life, you’re not happy anymore being married, then those seem like convincing reasons a mind would come up with so you can get what you want. 

As a retired pastor I performed many wedding ceremonies and in those ceremonies I had each person repeat their vows to each other.   I’m sorry those vows didn’t say I could get out of this marriage for those two reasons.  If you lived by your vows you wouldn’t bail but you would do everything in your power to find help so you wouldn’t grow apart, you would strive to stay close through each new stage of life.  Is it easy?  No, of course it’s not easy.  That’s why you made those vows to help hold you steady and to do whatever it takes to make your marriage work. 

Now there are Biblical reasons for divorce but infidelity was 6^th on the list and physical violence was 16^th.   Those are situations out of your control.  I do know that marriage can be difficult and you may need help to work through these situation but just giving in to your heart’s desire or what makes you happy may not be the best reason even though your mind comes up with convincing reasons.

The key is what you fixate on.  I know we want to be happy but that isn’t always the best motivation behind making important mature decisions. 

What do you base your decisions on?