“The best counsel in the world is wasted counsel if our minds are already made up.”

A thought by Andy Stanley (2009-03-31) in his book, The Principle of the Path: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be (p. 129). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

We all realize how true that is, don’t we? My dad said, “Advice not asked for stinks.” It doesn’t matter if you have the right answer if the person in need is not seeking advice it won’t make a difference.

I used to have wives come up and ask me if I would talk to their husbands or parents would come and want me to talk to their kids and I would always say, “Have them call me.” If they’re not seeking they’re not listening.

Of course you know some people who have advice for everything and they want to give it all the time to everyone they meet. It seems to be a self-worth thing. They may be right some of the time but they are not usually the ones you will go to for advice. There are others who you see their life and you know their life view is built on wisdom and maturity but you have to seek them out. Everyone needs people like that in their life.

But again if you have already made up your mind it doesn’t make any difference if you are wrong or right you will be close-minded to what anyone will have to say. Now it is true that a wise mature person is close-minded on some things. They have some absolutes that are no longer debatable.

For me, there is a God is an absolute non-debatable issue. I have settled that in my life but there are a lot of other things I need advice on. I’m open-minded toward them. It says in the book of Proverbs in the Old Testament, there is safety in many counselors. That is very true and that is why you need people in your circle who are mature and who will give good advice when you ask them.

But it goes back to the fact that if a person has made up their mind it will do no good to try and change it. So don’t waste your time and get frustrated with them because if you don’t burn the relational bridge with them there may be a time eventually that they will need help and you will be there.

So don’t waste your breath or time in giving advice to someone who has already made up their mind even if you are right. It will do no good. All it will do is frustrate you.

So what do you think?

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