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“A heart filled with anger is a heart looking to be paid back. Unfortunately, in most cases, it is our unsuspecting friends and family who are made to pay.”

A thought by Andy Stanley (2009-08-22) from his book, It Came from Within!: The Shocking Truth of What Lurks in the Heart (p. 82). Multnomah Books. Kindle Edition.

An injustice has been done, someone has gone back on their word, they haven’t done what they promised, you feel like you are owed something and you are angry.  You are very angry and you feel justified in your anger.

But here is the problem.  In most cases the person who has hurt you probably doesn’t even know you are angry with them but you know it and the people closest to you know it.  The person you are angry with isn’t being hurt but you are and those closest to you are.

Now not doing anything is not the best answer for your anger.  As you know the anger inside of you is tearing away at your insides and it can even damage you physically and for sure emotionally.  Unresolved anger can hurt you and it can also hurt the people you love.  It can hurt your relationships because it is like a time bomb that is ready to explode and when you do explode you hurt those closest to you.  That I know isn’t what you want.

You can also do what the new Wednesday night show on ABC is all about.  It is called REVENGE and it says, “This is not a story about forgiveness.  Wealth, beauty and status define the people in this town, but one woman is willing to destroy everyone for the sake of revenge.” You can do that.  It is payback time for what they did to you.  You can do that but you will lose and everyone else will lose also.  It doesn’t free you from your hurt, your pain.  It only adds to it and to those you love.

So what do you do? Well they may not make a TV show on ABC about it but forgiveness is the key.  Andy also said earlier is his book, that “The root of anger is the perception that something has been taken.  Something is owed.”  That’s why you want to pay them back and by your forgiving them you are not paying them back for what they have done but absolving them of any debt you believe they owe you.  It is paying their debt to you for them. 

We just paid off our Toyota Matrix today.  What that means is we are no longer tied to the Credit Union back in Las Vegas.  We are free.  And that is what forgiveness does.  It frees you from that person.  They no longer have a negative hold on you.

Now it is not an easy thing to do. You will probably want some help in doing this but you will find it to be the most healing thing to do for you, your health, your emotions and your relationships.   

Why not give it a try?
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Comments

  1. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2011 at 12:28 PM

    Congratulations on being automobile debt free! What a triumphant feeling. Yes, it is difficult to switch-off those feelings of anger, even when what you are feeling is justified. Ultimately the one to suffer is you and those about you. Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bill WilliamsSeptember 6, 2011 at 12:40 PM

    thanks for the read and the comment!

    ReplyDelete
  3. PBScottSeptember 6, 2011 at 5:51 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. PBScottSeptember 6, 2011 at 5:51 PM

    I used to walk around angry quite a bit in my teen years, and indeed my friends and family had to deal with it, not the people that made me angry in the first place, it is much easier to forgive.

    Nice Post.

    ReplyDelete

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