“Circumstantial happiness does not last.”

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, The Law of Happiness: How Spiritual Wisdom and Modern Science Can Change Your Life (The Secret Things of God) (p. 8). Howard Books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

Have you found that true, yet?

Henry says, “Psychological research has shown something else about ‘getting’ or ‘achieving’ some external, circumstantial state as the path to happiness: It does not last. It has a short shelf life. So, not only do our circumstances and achievements account for only a small percentage of our happiness, but even what they are able to contribute evaporates pretty quickly. Why?

“It seems that there is some sort of ‘set point’ to our level of happiness that we carry around, almost like a thermostat. (1) Let’s say your set point from factors other than circumstances is at 70. Then you get that new house, and you jump up to 80 or, for a day, to what feels like 100! This happens, for instance, when people first fall in love with the persons of their dreams. They may even exceed 100 in that initial state. (That explains a lot of crazy behavior.) But whether it is the house, the raise, or the relationship, what research has shown us is that we come back down to the place we were before. We return to our set point. This is called the ‘hedonic treadmill.’ This is why, as common sense will tell you, you can look back at things you thought you would ‘just die for,’ and now they are stored in the garage and you don’t care much for them anymore. Their power has gone away. Compare children on Christmas morning to those same children a few months later when the toys they were so excited to find under the tree lie around no longer used.”

He then says, “I remember when I was in graduate school, working hard to get a doctoral degree. I thought that when I got that degree, life would change. I thought of all the things I could do with it and all the doors that would open up for me. When I got the degree, I remember the initial sense of accomplishment when I went to the hospital to work and they called me ‘Doctor.’ It felt nice . . . for a few days. But the truth is, I haven’t thought about it much since then. I was still me whether I was called Henry or Dr. Cloud, and my happiness had more to do with whether I was practicing the laws of happiness than with the fact I had a degree. The conclusion: The happiness that external things or circumstances bring does not last.”

We want them to, we hope they will but they don’t, do they? 

Yes, yes!