“There’s a difference between hearing people and listening to them.”

A thought by John C. Maxwell (2013-02-15) From his book, Be A People Person: Effective Leadership Through Effective Relationships (p. 26). David C. Cook. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title of the book to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

John then says, “Listening is wanting to hear.”  At my age I have a problem with just hearing but so many of us can hear but we have a problem at wanting to stop and really listen. It is a problem of focus and of caring and patience.

John says, “As people gain more authority, they often develop a lack of patience in listening to those under them.”  He then says, “A deaf ear is the first indication of a closed mind.”

He goes on to say, “The higher people go in management and the more authority they wield, the less they are forced to listen to others. Yet their need to listen is greater than ever. The further they get from the firing line, the more they have to depend on others for correct information. If they haven’t formed the habit of listening— carefully and intelligently— they aren’t going to get the facts they need, and people will resent their decisions.”

The same is true in our families. 

John said, “I saw a television sketch that, with some variations, might seem familiar in many households. A husband is watching television and his wife is trying to engage him in conversation:

Wife: Dear, the plumber didn’t come to fix the leak behind the water heater today.

Husband: Uh-huh.

Wife: The pipe burst today and flooded the basement.

Husband: Quiet. It’s third down and goal to go.

Wife: Some of the wiring got wet and almost electrocuted Fluffy.

Husband: Darn it! Touchdown.

Wife: The vet says he’ll be better in a week.

Husband: Can you get me a Coke?

Wife: The plumber told me that he was happy that our pipe broke because now he can afford to go on vacation. 

Husband: Aren’t you listening? I said I could use a Coke!

Wife: And Stanley, I’m leaving you. The plumber and I are flying to Acapulco in the morning.

Husband: Can’t you please stop all that yakking and get me a Coke? The trouble around here is that nobody ever listens to me.”

Maybe we need to stop and really listen. 

So are you a good listener?