A
thought by John C. Maxwell (2013-02-15) from his book, Be A People Person: Effective Leadership Through Effective Relationships
(p. 83). David C. Cook. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title of the book to
go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)
There are
lots of ways to persuade but to be effective in our persuading is another
thing. As John says, “It speaks to the
heart as well as to the head. Therefore, persuasion does not make use of force
or intimidation.”
But we
believe that intimidation is effective because we found it to be
successful. At least we’ve seen people
do what we want. But people are more
important than getting our way, aren’t they?
John says, “Getting
someone to do something without convincing them it’s the right thing to do is
not the result of effective motivation; it’s the result of intimidation. It’s
like the mom who told the little kid to sit down in the grocery cart at the
supermarket. He kept standing up and she kept telling him to sit down. Finally,
she reprimanded him firmly enough that he sat down. She heard him whisper to
himself as he was scrambling down, ‘I may be sitting down on the outside, but
I’m standing up on the inside!’”
John
continues, “When we succeed in getting people to sit down on the outside while
they’re still standing up on the inside, we are not persuading them; they are
just accommodating us. We have neither convinced them nor have we met their
basic needs.”
It may take
longer but persuading through relating to people and showing them what a difference
it will make for them is really what will make a healthy difference in your
relationships long term. Let’s not be
rulers but effective leaders. Remember, people are important.
So have I persuaded
you to not rule but to relate?
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