Skip to main content

“Relationships never work well when you only listen to yourself.”

A thought by Mark Batterson, Richard Foth, and Susanna Foth Aughtmon (2015-04-28) from their book, A Trip around the Sun: Turning Your Everyday Life into the Adventure ofa Lifetime  (p. 98). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

It is so very easy as a minister to think that we have a direct line from God so we don’t need to listen to anyone else even our wife.  But that is sooooo wrong.  So wrong.  That is also true of many men who aren’t ministers and also many women who believe they know best and they don’t need to listen.  But that idea is a quick way to ruin a relationship and especially a marriage.

Dick says, “Taking the time to hear a spouse brings honor and credence to the conversation. It acknowledges the value of the other person. If we stop talking or listening, we are dead in the water. Silence in a marriage is not golden. It is ambiguous. When silence falls, I don’t know what it means— or am scared I do know what it means. Without clear communication, our greatest adventure can become a terrible trip.”

Maybe your great adventure has become a terrible trip.  Dick continues, “Sometimes men and women don’t communicate well because they interpret life so differently. It’s like hearing a foreign language— trying to understand Chinese when you are fluent in Swahili. Both parties are talking, but they certainly don’t understand each other. It’s the Tower of Babel in our family room. Sadly, you won’t find a CliffsNotes version on how to love and understand each other. God has given you this incredible gift of a person. It’s up to you to be curious enough to ask the right questions and then be observant enough to learn how that person needs to be loved. Marriage is meant to be a lifelong journey of discovery.”

I told a guy the other day that I take my wife and pick her up at work every day.  The guy said to me, “why would you do that?  I am trying to do all I can to stay away from my wife.”  My thought was, what a waist.  I love the extra hour to 2 hours we have to talk.  She is my best friend.  But I know that can’t be said about a lot of marriages.

Dick said, “I often end marriage retreats with a specific exercise. I have the spouses join hands and close their eyes. Then I preface my prayer with this instruction: ‘Hear what I’m saying. The person whose hand you hold is an original from the land of the Holy Spirit. They are a gift to you to be held in trust, so treat them with grace, with kindness, with mercy, and with respect, because you only get one shot at this deal.’”


So how are you treating God’s gift to you?
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

“There’s a big difference between building a castle and building a kingdom.”

A thought by Bob Goff from his book, Everybody, Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People ( p. 41). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)   Have you ever built a sand castle or maybe a Lego castle?   Have you? Bob says, “We actually build castles all the time, out of our jobs and our families and the things we’ve purchased. Sometimes we even make them out of each other. Some of these castles are impressive too. Lots of people come to admire what we’ve built over the course of our lives and tell us what great castles we have. But Jesus told His friends we weren’t supposed to spend our lives building castles. He said He wanted us to build a kingdom, and there’s a big difference between building a castle and building a kingdom.” Bob goes on, “You see, castles have moats to keep creepy people out, but kingdoms have bridges to let everyone in. Castles have dungeons for people who ha...
Post a Comment
Read more

“God does big things with small deeds.”

A thought by Max Lucado (2011-05-02) from his book, Cure for the Common Life (p. 115). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) I don’t know how you feel about what you are doing and how it can make a difference.   You may feel that it is so small and not even worth the effort. Max says, “Begin. Just begin! What seems small to you might be huge to someone else. Just ask Bohn Fawkes. During World War II, he piloted a B-17. On one mission he sustained flak from Nazi antiaircraft guns. Even though his gas tanks were hit, the plane did not explode, and Fawkes was able to land the plane. “On the morning following the raid, Fawkes asked his crew chief for the German shell. He wanted to keep a souvenir of his incredible good fortune. The crew chief explained that not just one but eleven shells had been found in the gas tanks, none of which had exploded. “Technicians opened the missiles and found them void of explosive cha...
Post a Comment
Read more

"Lie 2: The more you worry about it, the better your odds of avoiding it."

A thought by Louie Giglio in his book,   Winning the War on Worry    (p. 5). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Here is another lie that the Enemy uses with us. And Louie says, "This is a tricky lie. Yes, we often have cause for concern and preparation. But the Enemy wants you to believe that if you worry or fret over a certain outcome long enough, you can keep something bad from happening." But this is so important to realize. He says, "The reality is worrying has never once prevented something negative from happening. Planning might. Prayer has. But worry never will." He continues, "The Enemy tells you that by worrying about a situation (or every situation) you can make your tomorrow better. Really, worry just robs you of today. Jesus implored us: 'I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body mor...
Post a Comment
Read more