“Lack of communication and poor communication not only prevent us from solving problems, they can also create problems of their own.”

A thought by John C. Maxwell (2013-10-08) from his book, Sometimes You Win--Sometimes You Learn:Life's Greatest Lessons Are Gained from Our Losses (p. 154). Center Street. Kindle Edition.

That is so true.  There are so many problems that happens to us because we don’t really understand what someone is saying or where they are coming from.  And understanding is so important in good communication.

An example would be if I use the word chesterfield in a conversation with you.  Now when I use it I am talking about a cigarette.  That was a brand of cigarettes.  But if you were from certain sections of Canada that would be a couch.  So if I don’t know you and where you come from then I would have a problem in communicating what I was trying to communicate because my definition of that word would be different from your definition.  In other words, I could be talking with you but not communicating with you.

Now so much of the time we communicate from our definitions and really don’t take time to find out if our definitions are the same as your definitions.  This is where many communication problems come in.  We speak from our side of understanding without finding if the other person really understands.  This is true so much of the time with problems between males and females, husbands and wives, parents and kids, and different nationalities.  Because we don’t spend enough time talking and listening to others we don’t really understand what they really mean so we jump to conclusions and then have problems. 

Jumping to conclusions causes so many problems.  That is why a major part of communication is asking the question, “What do you mean?  I want to understand what you really mean.”  So many problems come because we don’t really understand and our pride keeps us from asking.

So how much time do you spend in really talking and listening to those who really matter to you?