"Don’t Feel Sorry for Yourself."

A thought by John C. Maxwell (2013-10-08) from his book, Sometimes You Win--Sometimes You Learn:Life's Greatest Lessons Are Gained from Our Losses (p. 166). Center Street. Kindle Edition.

John is dealing here with keeping the right point of view in difficulties and feeling sorry for yourself can be an easy trap to fall into. For many it is a normal way to handle all their bad experiences but it doesn’t have to be.

He shares that Psychiatrist Frederic Flach in his book Resilience points out that “survivors of bad experiences don’t let the negatives in their lives define them, and they don’t wallow in self-pity. They don’t believe their negative experience is the worst thing in the world. Instead, they think, ‘What happened to me may have been bad, but other people are worse off. I’m not giving in.’”

Now for so many they look at the people who they seem to think have it all together and they think, “Why couldn’t that be me?” not really knowing what they have gone through in their lives. So many successful people have had many bad experiences but they didn’t give in to them.

Realize how good you really have it. Comparing can be depressing but gratitude is uplifting. I thank God every day for my life and the good things in it. Are their difficulties? Of course but they are just opportunities to grow and to tell people, “I understand what you’re going through but it could be worse.”

I live each day as a survivor. I will not give in. Even this morning I woke up early with a heavy heart for someone and what they were going through and spent the time in prayer for God to give them strength and wisdom and courage. I could do that because I understood their potential for discouragement because I have been there, I understood. But I also know that those times were some of the most fulfilling times in my life. It is in those bad experiences that we really mature and grow.

Don’t feel sorry for yourself because you’re going through them but feel sorry for those who aren’t. You are a survivor and no one can take that away from you.

So how do you handle your bad experiences?

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