Just Continue That Thought...

A thought by Kyle Idleman, from his book,  One at a Time  (p. 150). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) That is so very true. Kyle continues, "You’ve had people who spoke lifegiving words to you, who helped you believe in God, in yourself, in the possibility of change. Those words built you up and created the positive things you appreciate about your life today." He also said, "You’ve also probably had some words spoken to you that felt like death and have stayed with you ever since. I asked my Facebook friends to give examples of words that were tattooed on their souls and shaped their lives in a negative way. Within minutes I received responses like, 'No one will ever want to be with you,' 'You’re damaged goods,' 'You are irresponsible,' 'You’re just not smart enough,' 'I wish you were never born,' 'I’m just not attracted to you anymore,' 'You lost the ga...

A thought by Kyle Idleman, from his book,  One at a Time  (p. 138). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) How can we make a difference through a party? Kyle continues, "Maybe this doesn’t seem like the best ambiance for a party, but it’s a lot where people park their cars and then get on a bus that takes them to their workplace in the city. People park in this lot early in the morning, so instead of hors d’oeuvres the party refreshments were muffins and juice. The party throwers cranked music and put out games people could play as they waited for the bus." He says, "One woman who was walking toward the bus from her car was obviously distressed. A few volunteers asked if they could give her some snacks for the road. "She declined, then stopped and asked, 'Are you from a church?' "When they said yes, she asked, 'Would you . . . would you please pray for my family? We just found out last nig...

A thought by Kyle Idleman, from his book,  One at a Time  (p. 128). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) That is a very interesting thought. Kyle continues, "It says something that people wanted him at their parties. For instance, in John 2 we read of a wedding party and we’re told, 'Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding' (v. 2). "Doesn’t that seem a little weird? If you didn’t know anything about Jesus or the Bible, and someone told you that God came to earth and lived a human life, would you expect this God-human to be invited to parties?" He goes on, "I might guess that people would be like, 'Don’t invite the God-human. He’ll be walking around with his good/bad checklist on a clipboard, spying around corners, shaking his head in disapproving ways. It’s a hard no to inviting the God-human.' "But that’s not what happened. Jesus was invited to parties. Someone ...

A thought by Kyle Idleman, from his book,  One at a Time  (p. 126). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) What would you say? Kyle says, "Perhaps 'Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus' (1 Thess. 5:16–18 NLT)?" He continues, "This might not be what you expect, but God tells us his will includes joy. Always. "When the angels announced the birth of Jesus, their message was, 'Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people' (Luke 2:10). "Jesus came to bring great joy . "Jesus came to bring his joy and fill us with it. He said, 'These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full' (John 15:11 ESV)." He goes on, "God’s will, the Good News of Jesus, is about joy. Yet listen to how someone once describ...

A thought by Kyle Idleman, from his book,  One at a Time  (p. 117). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) And there is a difference. Kyle says, "If you show someone compassion and they confuse that as condoning, that is a mistake on their part because the two are not the same. Jesus did not condemn the woman (caught in adultery) but did tell her to go and sin no more." He continues, "We aren’t telling people, 'God loves you just the way you are, so keep doing what you’re doing.' I’ve heard the message of God’s love summed up this way: 'God loves you just the way you are, but he loves you too much to leave you that way.' "Accepting a sinner is not accepting their sin, but some people probably will take it that way. And? I think it’s worth the risk. How do I know that? Because it is a risk God is willing to take. "God’s grace is so amazing, so outlandish, that some people do mistake ...

A thought by Kyle Idleman, from his book,  One at a Time  (p. 106). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) That is a very good question, isn't it? Kyle continues, "It’s a significant question. Have you ever met someone who told you, 'Well, I was always this certain way, but then I met this hate-filled person who made me feel condemned, and that’s when my whole life changed!' "No, you haven’t. Me neither."  He goes on, "Another question: Has feeling condemned ever helped you to change? Has condemnation ever led you to transformation? I bet not, because that’s not the way it works. Romans 2:4 says it’s kindness that leads us to repentance. "Angrily pointing out a person’s sins doesn’t lead them out of those sins. Don’t confuse your bitterness and hatred with showing tough love. Loathing doesn’t lead to life change. "In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus talked about how we are to treat oth...

A thought by Kyle Idleman, from his book,  One at a Time  (p. 94). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Here is what Kyle is talking about. He continues, "There was this law back then that Roman soldiers could force civilians into acts of service, but there were limitations. A Roman soldier could force a Jew to carry his pack for one mile, but not any farther. The Jewish person didn’t have an option, so they’d pick up the pack and carry it a mile, but not another step. They couldn’t be forced into a second mile. "Roman soldiers were the enemy. They treated Jewish people like dogs. So, imagine this scenario: a Jewish man is coming home from work. He’s tired and hungry and just wants to get home in time for a little SportsCenter before going to bed. He sees a soldier on the side of the road. Oh, great. This is the last thing he needs. "The Jewish man is angry and upset every step of the way. As soon as he hits...

A thought by Kyle Idleman, from his book,  One at a Time  (p. 71). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.)  Was that true for you? Kyle continues, "Before meals and at bedtime, of course, and praying at church was also a thing. Also heaving up a desperate Hail Mary prayer before a test you didn’t study for was deemed appropriate." He says, "But Jesus’s disciples were 'constantly' united in prayer, and we are encouraged to 'pray without ceasing' (1 Thess. 5:17 ESV) and to 'pray at all times' (Eph. 6:18 CSB)." "There is a right time to pray—and it is now . "Prayer is an expression of our dependence on Jesus, and we’re always dependent on Jesus, so we always need to be praying. It’s a constant connection where we are continually available." He goes on, "I was also taught there was a right way to pray: head bowed and eyes closed. In fact, in our family, if your head ...

A thought by Kyle Idleman, from his book,  One at a Time  (p. 68). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) That is a good question. Kyle continues, "Depending on the research you look at, there are anywhere from six to thirty-four thousand emotions you can experience. I won’t list all thirty-four thousand here. You probably don’t need a list to narrow down how you feel most of the time, anyway. If you’re not sure about your emotional state, ask a few of the people you do life with. If they look at you like they’re afraid to answer, then irritable or temperamental may be the diagnosis." He goes on, "I decided to read through the Gospels to try to determine if there was a primary emotion Jesus felt. He is described as experiencing exhaustion, joy, anger, frustration, disgust, grief, loneliness, rejection, and dread. But the one emotion attributed to Jesus more than any other is compassion . "Most of our em...

A thought by Kyle Idleman, from his book,  One at a Time  (p. 65). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) That is so true. Kyle said, "For instance, you wouldn’t run into a burning house. Why? It’s a risk, and your fear of taking that risk would be too great. But you would run into a burning house if your child was inside it. Why? It’s the same risk and would induce the same fear, but you’d do it because the potential return—saving your child—is worth it." He continues, "Too often we avoid getting close to someone far from God and stay away from draining, difficult, and different people because there is risk. We might be rejected. We could look stupid. We may not be able to answer their questions. "When we stare at the risk, we are stopped by our fear. But we can stare down the risk by staring at the potential return." He goes on, "Each person we find ourselves in close proximity with is a child...

A thought by Kyle Idleman, from his book,  One at a Time  (p. 38). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Mother Teresa understood what this is all about. Kyle says, "Mother Teresa spent most of her life ministering to the poor and suffering in the slums of Calcutta. I’ve heard dozens of Mother Teresa stories over the years, and she seemed to always see the person in need and know what to do to meet that need." He continues, "I recently read a story in which Mother Teresa was in Australia and came across an elderly Aborigine man who lived in absolute squalor. Mother Teresa wrote, 'I can assure you that you have never seen a situation as difficult as that poor old man’s.' 1 "I imagine myself in that situation, and I’m pretty sure I would feel incapable of helping. But Mother Teresa? She told the man she was going to clean his house, wash his clothes, and make his bed. He said no, but her insistence ...

A thought by Kyle Idleman, from his book,  One at a Time  (p. 36). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) That is true, isn't it? Kyle continues, "We feel compelled to make a difference—but how? "After enough moments of feeling like we should do something but not knowing what to do, we learn to silence that voice. I need to do something gets replaced with Somebody should do something . It’s not that we don’t want to do something, it’s just that we don’t know what to do." He goes on, "For a long time when I felt compelled to do something, I would pray, God, what do you want to do through me? "What I have learned along the way is that often my first prayer should be, God, what do you want to do in me? "Because the work God does in you will lead to the work God wants to do through you. This radically changes our approach to being difference-makers. As much as I might want to skip the in an...

A thought by Kyle Idleman, from his book,  One at a Time  (p. 25). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Kyle continues, "When someone stood in front of Jesus, time stopped. Everything else in his life—all his concerns, his agenda, his goals—blurred and disappeared. He was always fully present. "One at a time is the Jesus way of changing the world." Kyle goes on, "If you took a course in psychology, you’ve probably seen the 'Spot the Gorilla' video. Six people stand in a circle. Three are in white shirts, three in black. Two hold basketballs. You’re asked to watch a one-minute video and keep track of how many times the basketball is passed by the people in white shirts. The six people start moving about and passing the balls. In the middle of the video, a gorilla walks into the crowd of six people, faces the camera, thumps his chest, then steps off screen. The gorilla is in the video for nine seco...

A thought by Kyle Idleman, from his book, One at a Time (p. 12). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) I know that a lot of people really want to make a difference and maybe you are one of them. Kyle says, "We’re drowning in content that tells us how to make an impact with our lives. I’ve read the books, researched the articles, listened to the podcasts, and attended the conferences. I’ve taken notes as I’ve studied the autobiographies of difference-makers, trying to understand how they did it. What were their routines? Their habits? Their best practices? "We’ve never had more access to inspiring and helpful content to help us become people with greater impact and influence, and yet it seems that more people than ever feel like that’s not happening in their lives." And that is so true. He continues, "Maybe there’s another way to make a difference, and we’re just missing it. "I wrote this book becaus...

A thought by Gary Chapman, from his book,  When Sorry Isn't Enough  (p. 35). Moody Publishers. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Gary says, "Blogger Reese Andrews shared a moving story:      My youngest son, Asher, is ten years old. He has epilepsy and cerebral palsy and uses a wheelchair. Yesterday, as my husband was helping load Asher and his wheelchair onto his school bus, a young woman drove her car slowly past the stopped bus. She knew what she was doing. She caught my husband’s eye as she approached the end of the bus and he watched her drive through the intersection and away.      I wish I could tell you this was an unusual occurrence, but unfortunately it happens at least once a month. Someone is too busy, in too much of a hurry to stop while a bus is loading or unloading kids. What happened next, however, was totally out of the norm.      About an hour later we heard a knock at...

A thought by Gary Chapman, from his book,  When Sorry Isn't Enough  (p. 34). Moody Publishers. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) And it can be, can't it? Gary continues, "Often our reluctance to admit wrongdoing is tied to our sense of self-worth. To admit that we are wrong is perceived as weakness. We may reason, Only losers confess. Intelligent people try to show that their actions were justified." Gary says, "The seeds of this self-justifying tendency are often planted in childhood. When a child is excessively punished, condemned, or shamed for minor offenses, the sense of self-worth is diminished. Subconsciously, the child makes the emotional link between wrong behavior and low self-worth. Thus, to admit wrong is to be 'bad.' The child who grows up with this emotional pattern will have difficulty admitting wrongdoing as an adult because to do so strikes at his or her self-esteem. "The good news is that as...

A thought by Gary Chapman, from his book,  When Sorry Isn't Enough  (p. 25). Moody Publishers. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) It really does.  Gary continues, "When we’re specific, we communicate to the offended person that we truly understand how much we have hurt him or her. Specificity places the focus on our action and how it affected the other person." Jennifer says, "And the more details we can give, the better. If I stood someone up for a movie, I wouldn’t just say, 'I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the movie.' It would mean more to the person if I could list all the ways my action affected her. 'I know that you left your home on time; you stopped what you were doing. You made it down here during rush-hour traffic; you had to wait and be concerned about my well-being. I know that you like to see the entire picture, and for you, my neglect may have made you unable to enjoy the movie since you missed the begi...

A thought by Gary Chapman, from his book,  When Sorry Isn't Enough  (p. 22). Moody Publishers. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Good question. Gary continues, "Maybe not always, as we shall see. But it does form the basis of our first language of apology: expressing regret . Expressing regret is the emotional aspect of an apology. It is expressing to the offended person your own sense of guilt, shame, and pain that your behavior has hurt him deeply. It is interesting that when Robert Fulghum wrote his book All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten , he included as one of the things he learned: 'Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.' Expressing regret is fundamental to good relationships." Gary says, "Apology is birthed in the womb of regret. We regret the pain we have caused, the disappointment, the inconvenience, the betrayal of trust. Regret focuses on what you did or failed to do and how it affected ...

A thought by Gary Chapman, from his book,  When Sorry Isn't Enough  (p. 17). Moody Publishers. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) And that is what we need and want, isn't it? Gary says, "Sincere apologies also assuage a guilty conscience. Picture your conscience as a five-gallon container strapped to your back. Whenever you wrong another, it’s like pouring a gallon of liquid into your conscience. Three or four wrongs and your conscience is getting full—and you are getting heavy. A full conscience leaves one with a sense of guilt and shame. The only way to effectively empty the conscience is to apologize to God and the person you offended. When this is done, you can look God in the face, you can look yourself in the mirror, and you can look the other person in their eyes; not because you are perfect but because you have been willing to take responsibility for your failure." He continues, "We may or may not have learned the...

A thought by Gary Chapman, from his book,  When Sorry Isn't Enough  (p. 16). Moody Publishers. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Here is the whole paragraph. Gary says, "When a pastor encourages a wife to forgive her erring husband while he still continues in his wrongdoing, the minister is requiring of the wife something that God Himself does not do. Jesus’ teaching is that we are to be always willing to forgive, as God is always willing to forgive, those who repent. Some will object to this idea, indicating that Jesus forgave those who were killing Him. But that is not what the Scriptures say. Rather, Jesus prayed, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.' (Luke 23:34) Jesus expressed His heart of compassion and His desire to see His murderers forgiven. That should be our desire and our prayer. But their forgiveness came later when they acknowledged that they had indeed killed the Son of God." (Ac...

A thought by Gary Chapman, from his book,  When Sorry Isn't Enough  (p. 14). Moody Publishers. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) That's very true. Earlier Gary said, "When one’s sense of right is violated, that person will experience anger. He or she will feel wronged and resentful at the person who has violated their trust. The wrongful act stands as a barrier between the two people, and the relationship is fractured. They cannot, even if they desired, live as though the wrong had not been committed. Jack, whose brother swindled him years ago, says, 'Things have never been the same between us.' Whatever the offense, something inside the offended calls for justice. It is these human realities that serve as the basis of all judicial systems." He continues, "While justice may bring some sense of satisfaction to the offended person, justice does not typically restore relationships. If an employee who is found steali...