"Just tell yourself the truth."

A thought by Andy Stanley from his book, Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets (p. 25). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.)

Andy in this book is dealing with five questions for us to ask in making decisions and his first one is "Am I being honest with myself?"

He says, "You may not owe it to anyone else. But you owe it to yourself to be honest about why you choose what you choose, why you’re deciding what you’re deciding. There’s no win in selling yourself. There’s no win in justifying options. 

"Just tell yourself the truth."

He goes on, "It helps to ask this question twice. But on the second round, it helps to add a word. 

• Am I being honest with myself . . . really? 

• Why am I doing this . . . really?

 • Why am I avoiding him . . . really? 

• Why am I postponing this . . . really? 

• Why do I keep making excuses . . . really? 

• Why am I going . . . really? 

• Why did I say yes . . . really? 

• Why did I choose to wear this . . . really? 

• Why did I choose to purchase, lease that . . . really? 

• Why do I drive this . . . really? 

• Why did I order that . . . really? 

• Why did I move in . . . really? 

• Why am I moving out . . . really?"

". . . when it comes to selling ourselves on bad ideas or bad decisions, we’re the best. When it comes to convincing ourselves to do the wrong thing, we’re experts. When it comes to building and arguing a case for why we should do something we know we shouldn’t do, we’re unassailable litigating fools. We all deserve honorary law degrees."

He continues, "So, let’s stop with all that. Just tell yourself the unfiltered truth. It won’t hurt. Well, it may hurt your ego. You may hurt your own feelings. You may embarrass yourself . . . to yourself. But in the end, it may help. Owning the real why behind your what may cause lights to come on. Lights can be terrifying. Roaches and rats certainly think so. But light can be a disinfectant. Truth can be as well. They go hand in hand. So, bring your narratives, justifications, and excuses into the light. You may learn something."

He says, "We come into the world with a proclivity for selling ourselves on what we want to do rather than what we ought to do. I’m a sucker for me. You’re a sucker for you. As soon as we see something we want, we start selling. But all of that is just a polite way of saying, we lie to ourselves and believe our own lies.

"Granted, an extra dessert every once in a while isn’t the end of the world. Just the end of the diet. But there are decisions on which your entire future hinges. You talk yourself into some things and you pay. In some cases, you pay for the rest of your life.

"Got a DUI or a felony conviction that raises its ugly head at the most inopportune times? An ex that keeps coming back for more money? Do you get calls from a debt collector? Don’t you wish you could go back and talk yourself out of, rather than into, the decision that led to those outcomes? Sure you do. As Steven Covey famously stated: 'You can’t talk your way out of a problem you behaved your way into.'"

Andy then says, "That’s absolutely true. It’s equally true we talked ourselves into the behavior that created the problem we’re attempting to talk our way out of. Our problems usually begin when we take our own bad advice. And we’re all guilty. We’ve all talked ourselves into things we can’t talk our way out of."

And that is so true, isn't it? 

Yes, yes!