"Ever tried to lead a liar?"

 

A thought by Andy Stanley from his book, Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets (p. 21). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.  (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.)

It can be tough, can't it? Especially when it is you and me.

Andy says, "It’s pretty much impossible to lead a liar. In professional settings, you fire a liar. . . Fire the dishonest version of you and hire a new you . . . an honest you . . . a you that always tells you the truth, even when it makes you feel bad about you. Besides, dishonesty leaks. Lie to yourself and you’ll lie to others. FYI, if you have a hard time telling other people the truth when the truth makes you look bad . . . you’re probably not being honest with yourself either. It works both ways.

"You know from experience that dishonesty erodes credibility and undermines moral authority. In a similar way, when we are dishonest with ourselves, it erodes credibility with ourselves. Sounds strange, I know. But when we lie out loud, what do we immediately do on the inside? In our heads?

"Justify the lie. To whom? To ourselves."

He goes on, "We have to. Otherwise we are at odds with ourselves—a state that sane people cannot maintain for long. But our internal, private justifications are . . . well . . . at best they’re half-truths. Half-truths we believe! Liars lie. You’re not a liar, right? So why did you lie? And off you go, creating a narrative that salvages your flailing self-esteem. And then . . . then you choose to believe it! And why would you believe a narrative you created? You are a sucker for you! You can convince yourself of just about anything."

He later says, "You may find this to be more difficult than you first thought. In fact, your first step may be being honest with yourself about the fact that you’re not always honest with yourself! Every journey begins with a step.

"So, to decide our way into a better future, we must develop the uncomfortable habit of telling ourselves the uncomfortable truth regarding why we are choosing to do what we are choosing to do. Which leads us at last to the first of five questions everybody should ask every time:

"Question #1: The Integrity Question: Am I being honest with myself?"

He then says,"You may not owe it to anyone else. But you owe it to yourself to be honest about why you choose what you choose, why you’re deciding what you’re deciding. There’s no win in selling yourself. There’s no win in justifying options. Just tell yourself the truth."

Is is so important to do, isn't it?

Yes, yes!