"There is a difference between self-worship and self-love."

 

A thought by Chad Veach from his book, I Work with People (p. 43). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.)

So what is th difference?

Chad says, "Along with 'shame resilience,' I’d like to suggest we add 'fame resilience' to our arsenal. Fame, which includes any form of widespread recognition and praise, can be just as damaging as shame.

"That is the only way to stand strong against the condemnation and criticism, the flattery and celebrity, that come with leadership. Leading is not easy. But without a solid sense of identity and self-worth, it’s virtually impossible."

He goes on, "Just to clarify, loving yourself is not the same as idealizing yourself or making yourself the center of the universe. The word for that kind of behavior is narcissism—and narcissism and leadership don’t play well together. There is a difference between self-worship and self-love."

"When you love yourself, you value yourself. It’s not vanity or selfishness; it’s simply acknowledging the truth: you are of infinite worth, and so is every other human on the planet. To love yourself doesn’t mean loving yourself to the exclusion of everyone else. Nor does it mean loving yourself more than everyone else, or even loving yourself as much as everyone else. Comparisons such as these do everyone a disservice because your value is completely independent of those around you, and their value is also independent of you.

"The objective is this: Love yourself so you can love everybody else. Not only should we love others, but it is both good and necessary to love ourselves along the way. We won’t love others very effectively if we despise ourselves."

He then says, "It’s also worth noting that love and approval are not the same thing. I love my children, but I don’t approve of everything they do—not by a long shot. Loving yourself doesn’t mean you are proud of everything you’ve done or even who you are at this point in time. You probably have some character issues or patterns of behavior that need to be addressed, and you probably already know what they are. Shame, guilt, and self-loathing are not going to get you where you want to go, but vulnerability might, especially when it’s combined with humility, self-acceptance, self-confidence, grace, and mercy."

Those are qualities that we really do need as leaders, aren't they?

Yes, yes!