“To achieve is the child’s responsibility, but to empower the child is the parent’s responsibility.”

A thought by Henry Cloud, from his book, Integrity (p. 85). HarperCollins e-books. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.)

And this is so important to see.

Henry says, “. . . instead of just setting a standard, the parent of grace gives support, coaching, teaching, structure, modeling, help, and consequences to empower the child to get there. Those are things that the child cannot provide and so are ‘unmerited.’ They are given without their being earned, and that is grace. But grace is not removing the standard. The requirement stays, and the person of grace does what is possible to be ‘for’ the other person’s meeting it.”

He goes on, “In marriage or intimate relationships, this kind of character does the same thing. Certainly, one holds requirements and standards. But, if the other person does not meet them, the person of character does not retaliate or go instantly looking for someone who can. Instead, he or she becomes a redemptive force, to do good ‘for’ the other person by providing ‘unmerited’ or undeserved help. This may be by asking ‘How can I help you?’ or calling a counselor in, or using other friends that have redemptive leverage, all the way to an intervention. . . But the key is that this kind of person keeps the standard, while at the same time trying to be a force that helps the other person meet the standard. That is a trustworthy character that we can throw in with and depend on for the long haul.”

He then says, “Integrity, the kind that meets the demands of reality, is character that can handle another person’s not being all someone needs that person to be. By moving as a positive force that is ‘for’ the other person’s getting better, as opposed to moving against him or disengaging because he isn’t, the person leverages him to a higher level. As a result, these people do not get dragged down by other people’s failures, but are a force of redemption in any situation, bringing it to a higher level. That translates into a relationship being healed in one’s personal life, or a company getting turned around in one’s business life. Either way, his or her character has been a force ‘for’ the good of the other, even when no one made her do it. And that is why when you look at the long-term wake of this kind of person, you find long-term, successful relationships and work scenarios. When troublesome realities came along, his or her character was able to meet those demands and be a redemptive force.”

And that is what we all need and need to be, isn’t it?

Yes, yes!

Comments

"Lie 2: The more you worry about it, the better your odds of avoiding it."

A thought by Louie Giglio in his book, Winning the War on Worry (p. 5). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Here is another lie that the Enemy uses with us. And Louie says, "This is a tricky lie. Yes, we often have cause for concern and preparation. But the Enemy wants you to believe that if you worry or fret over a certain outcome long enough, you can keep something bad from happening." But this is so important to realize. He says, "The reality is worrying has never once prevented something negative from happening. Planning might. Prayer has. But worry never will." He continues, "The Enemy tells you that by worrying about a situation (or every situation) you can make your tomorrow better. Really, worry just robs you of today. Jesus implored us: 'I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body mor...

“There’s a big difference between building a castle and building a kingdom.”

A thought by Bob Goff from his book, Everybody, Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People ( p. 41). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon.com to buy the book.) Have you ever built a sand castle or maybe a Lego castle? Have you? Bob says, “We actually build castles all the time, out of our jobs and our families and the things we’ve purchased. Sometimes we even make them out of each other. Some of these castles are impressive too. Lots of people come to admire what we’ve built over the course of our lives and tell us what great castles we have. But Jesus told His friends we weren’t supposed to spend our lives building castles. He said He wanted us to build a kingdom, and there’s a big difference between building a castle and building a kingdom.” Bob goes on, “You see, castles have moats to keep creepy people out, but kingdoms have bridges to let everyone in. Castles have dungeons for people who ha...

"To put it simply, worry isn’t just a bad habit."

A thought by Louie Giglio in his book, Winning the War on Worry (p. 1). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. (Click on the book title to go to Amazon to buy the book.) Ok, that is interesting. Louie says, "Worry is an Enemy tactic—a strategy built on lies that are designed to rob you of peace and tear your mind to pieces. "That’s why it’s crucial that you are able to spot the lies worry tells." He goes on, "Not long ago while on safari in South Africa, Shelley and I were really wanting to see a leopard in the wild. Early and late on our game drives our eyes were set on every tree limb, bush, grassy hill, and river path in hopes of finding one of several leopards that were known to frequent this particular area. But here’s the thing: leopards aren’t bright orange with tall, sparkly antennae on their backs. They are designed to blend into the surroundings, like the bark of a baobab tree where they might be lounging on one of its mighty branches. "In the same way, ...

Just Continue That Thought...

Search This Blog